Although the narcissist is constantly driving YOU crazy, there are definitely a plethora of things that drive the narcissist up the wall. It might seem like everything drives them so crazy because of their seemingly unpredictable and sporadic outbursts; however, they are actually pretty predictable in that the below things will always drive them mad. Figuring out what makes them crazy will be key in compiling the leverage that you need in order to get out of the relationship and achieve the outcome that you want and deserve.
Although boundaries are vital in keeping even a shred of your sanity intact- it will be one of the things that will absolutely drive the narcissist in your life crazy. Setting boundaries can look like saying no to small or larger requests and it can look like going no contact to the extent that you can. The best boundary to set with these toxic personalities is to not allow them into your world or life at all. It’s hard. I know so. I’ve had to do this myself. One of the people that I have had to deal with was an extended family member. For those of you who are wondering to yourself, “But what if I have a family member?” I’ve done it. It’s painful- especially for those of us who are empaths. Despite the horror we’ve endured from the narcissist, we still don’t want to hurt their feelings, we still feel like we need and want to protect them. Furthermore, we generally feel like we’re nice people and setting boundaries can seem like a mean thing to do. Let me tell you: It is NOT! It is simply self care. The narcissist in your life will feel entitled to everything about you and will take advantage of you to the best of their ability. Whether big or small, your boundaries have to be steel. This will not only protect you but it will also serve as a nice revenge in driving them as crazy as they have driven you.
Narcissists survive off of narcissistic supply which is anything that feeds their ego. So anything that does the opposite of fluffing up their egos is going to make them absolutely crazy. Rejection is that very thing. They already feel completely empty inside which is what drives them to behave the way in which they do. If they get rejected or even feel rejected at all it will only perpetuate their unhealthy ways of coping. If their source of supply is rejecting them, they will not only be driven to insanity but to find other supply out of survival.
The next thing that drives them crazy is being wrong or being called out on wrongdoings that they may have performed. Narcissists live in a fantasy world where they see themselves as saints who are unable to do anything that cannot be justified. When a narcissist is wrong, they will deflect, deny, and dismiss the allegations; however, on the inside craziness will certainly be stirred up.
Failure and losing make narcissists crazy. If a narcissist does not achieve their desired outcome- whatever that might be- they will become infuriated. Even if losing a simple game, the narcissist will be a sore loser. Failing at anything will hurt their already minuscule sense of self-image, and image is everything to them.
Humiliation and people seeing them for who and what they truly are is the narcissist’s worst nightmare that will not only drive them crazy but will also be a factor in their possible collapse. Becoming exposed is the single thing that will threaten the supply that they need in order to survive. If they are exposed for what they truly are, the likelihood of supply being readily available as they know it will drastically decrease.
Another thing that drives a narcissist crazy is when you move on and forget about them. They can’t stand that. They will most likely not believe you actually have moved on and will continue to check in on you to see what you’re up to- sometimes for years and years. The best thing to do in this case is to GENUINELY move on from them and do everything that you can to actually forget about them. This will drive that narcissist in your life up the wall.