The signs that you’ve actually beaten the narcissist may not be what you expect. It typically doesn’t involve them laying on the floor, writhing in pain, and admitting defeat. Well, you might see that during the collapse of a narcissist but it may not mean that you have actually beaten them. These are the true signs that you have beaten the narcissist which are entirely different than the signs of a narcissist’s collapse. 

Acceptance

The first sign that you have beaten the narcissist is acceptance. Your acceptance of who they are, what they are, and what has happened in your relationship with them is the first sign you have empowered yourself and that the narcissist is no longer beating you. To enter a state of acceptance, you must begin by learning as much about narcissism as you possibly can. Then, you mustn’t beat yourself up for anything that might have happened in the relationship. Don’t regret the fact that this person came into your life. People come into our lives for various reasons and a lesson can always be learned. Do not regret the past nor blame yourself for anything that happened. Just ask yourself what you can possibly learn from the experience so that you can move forward and into the light. 

Observation

The second sign that you have beaten the narcissist is by simply observing their horrific behaviors with a lack of emotion. Perhaps you might even find some of their behaviors funny. I’ve had clients repeatedly ask me if I can believe what their ex has done. I always say, “Yes, I can. What I can’t believe is that you can’t believe it. You’ve been telling me how they behave for years now.” When you stop being surprised by their actions, you’ll simply observe and even start predicting future behaviors. This is definitely a sign that you are no longer getting beaten by the narcissist but are on your way to beating the narcissist. 

You Don’t Miss Them

Not missing what the narcissist gives to you – whether that be validation, companionship, or a sense of love – is the third and final sign that you have taken back your life and beat the narcissist. At this point, they’re out of your life or are on their way out of your life and you simply don’t miss the relationship you once had. You’re actually glad that you can finally move on.  You’re actually starting to picture your life without them. At this point, the air is starting to feel fresher and the skies are looking bluer. Once you aren’t feeling like you’re constantly under attack, you’ll be surprised at how nice your life starts to feel- as uncomfortable as it might seem at first. I was talking to someone yesterday who had escaped a narcissistic relationship and she told me that for a moment recently, she even forgot his name! Talk about beating the narcissist! This could be you. 

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