You want to be Untouchable to a narcissist? It’s so time for you to stop them touching you and making you feel unworthy. By the end of this article, I’m going to make sure that you have five simple steps to make you feel Untouchable—be Untouchable to narcissists.
Hey, I’m Rebecca Zung and I’m an attorney. I’m also a narcissist negotiation expert. I’m also the author of The Winning book “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win.” I want you to win against narcissists and that’s why right now I’m giving you my master class and all kinds of really cool things with my book, so make sure that you get it. It’s “Slay.”
If you’re new here, then welcome! Make sure that you subscribe to my Quora/Medium account and hit that notification Bell. If you are just coming back, then welcome back. We are all about empowering each other and making sure that we break free from the chains of narcissism and have the resources that you need to live the life that you deserve. Together, we are unlocking everything that we need so that you can have everything you need to be Untouchable in the face of narcissists.
So today, we are unlocking simple steps to make you Untouchable to narcissists. Step One is mastering self-love. They actually hate themselves. Everybody thinks that they are so full of confidence. They actually hate themselves deep down—deep down inside. Brené Brown talks about how they actually have the deepest amount of shame, the deepest self-hate deep down inside. If you cultivate self-love and deep, unshakable love for yourself, they will run from you. They’re looking for people that they can control. They’re looking for people who are going to give them that feeling of empathy, that constant source of supply that they’re looking for—people that they can control. If they can see that weak spot in you, then they will look for that. And that’s what they look for at the beginning—people who have something that opening that they can go for. If you have a full foundation of who you are and you’re not willing to put up with any of their crap, then they’re going to go running in the other direction.
So mastering self-love, my dear Slayers, is the foundation of it all. The more you can have full-on respect for yourself, full-on complete self-esteem, full self-love, and having this journey of growth, it will help you so much. So indulging in activities that light up your soul, whether it’s spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby, practicing mindfulness—remembering you are a force of nature and you are unique. You were meant to shine; you were meant to be whole and complete. That’s why you’re here. Your soul has whispered to you and said, “Hey, this is not right.” I know for me, when I was dealing with my narcissistic business partner, I knew the hairs on the back of my neck were telling me something and whispering something to me. That’s why you’re here; you were meant to find me, you were meant to start looking. And you know that, you know within the depths of your soul as well too. If you agree with me, put an amen in the comments right now.
Next is boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. That unyielding shield—Step Two is all about those, establishing those firm boundaries. Narcissists thrive on pushing people to the limits. By establishing those clear boundaries, you will not accept and tell them that you are not allowing disrespectful behavior anymore. Even if it’s just starting with one little boundary and saying, “I’m not allowing you to speak to me in a disrespectful manner anymore, we’re not having this conversation until you can.” That’s a really good place to start. I always say, step one, don’t run; step two, make a U-turn; step three, Break Free. I talk about this in my new book as well. And if you need that additional support system, make sure you join my free private Facebook group at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.” Get that help and support that you need. Declare to them, declare to the world, declare to them that you won’t tolerate mistreatment. Know your value, know your worth, know your limits. Communicate them assertively to them with confidence. Be clear about the behaviors that you’re not going to accept and force those behaviors. Be consistent about it. Don’t allow them to invade your personal space. If they cross those lines, say it’s not okay. No matter who it is, friend, family member, whoever it is, it’s just not okay. Be polite but be firm. If they value the relationship, then they will be respectful, they will be supportive.
If you need access to therapy and you don’t have access to it wherever you are and you want an online therapist, I do have a sponsor on this Quora/Medium account. It’s BetterHelp. You can go to betterhelp.com/RebeccaZung to access that. It’s a sponsor for us on this Quora/Medium account, which means we receive commissions, but you don’t pay any extra. We just want you to have access to help and support that you can trust. Okay, so the next thing is embracing your authenticity. This is the heart of being Untouchable. It’s the heart of everything—embracing you, embracing your authenticity. It’s about letting go of the need to conform to anything, certainly narcissists, but societal expectations, other people’s judgments—do not dim your light for anyone. You are unique; you are meant to shine. Be your true self. You were born to serve out God’s highest, most beautiful purpose for your soul, and you are a powerful source. Radiate yourself; radiate your beautiful, amazing, positive, confident soul to the world. Unleash your passions, unleash your thoughts, and let your true colors shine. And if somebody is trying to dim that, then that is not your person. I love the expression, “Stop trying to make not your people your people.” Because if some people aren’t your people, that’s okay.
If you’ve always wanted to pursue a creative career, but societal pressures push you toward a more conventional path, just take the leap and follow your heart. Embrace who you are. If you’re a quirky person, be quirky. Allow yourself to be feeling special, allow yourself to know that you are somebody who is meant to shine. Authenticity attracts genuine people, attracts genuine connections. And that’s the best defense against narcissists, truly. That’s how I ended up with this Quora/Medium account. You know, I talked about my actual relationship with a business partnership who was a narcissistic business partnership. And that’s how we all got started. That’s how this party got started right over here. So I encourage you to do the same thing.
The next step, number four, is educate yourself on narcissism, which is why you’re here in the first place, right? Pre-order my book, “Slay the Bully,” you get early access to a master class, a workbook, behind-the-scenes access in my Facebook group, all kinds of really cool things. You get early access to the whole manuscript. This is so essential. You need to educate yourself on narcissism. Knowledge is power, my dear warriors, my slayers. Understanding the tactics that narcissists use, how they manipulate you, recognizing their patterns—awareness is the key to reclaiming your power. You’re going to know what gaslighting is before you’re going to smell it. You’re going to smell it like gas. They’re not going to be able to gaslight you anymore. You’re going to be like, “Yeah, I don’t think so.” That’s number four.
And number five is seeking support, seeking support from others. Once you start being able to do that, you’re going to turn around and start empowering others. It’s just the same as many people are doing for me. You know, I have this amazing Slay program that has helped so many thousands of people all over the world win their cases, win their negotiations—thousands and thousands of people. And now many people who’ve taken my program are turning around and becoming master high-conflict negotiation coaches through my training program because they want to turn their pain into power. Because they want to turn around and give that helping hand to the next person. And you guys are going to be able to do the same kind of a thing. Support each other, lift each other, spread that knowledge, help others break from the clutches of narcissism. Together, we become an unstoppable force for each other, as a pillar of support. Listen to other people’s concerns, validate their feelings, encourage them, prioritize their well-being. Empower them to take the steps necessary to protect themselves. Embrace their worth. Congratulations, you guys have completed this journey to becoming unstoppable against narcissists. The power lies within you—on mastering that self-love, setting those boundaries, embracing your authenticity, educating yourself, seeking the support, and becoming the invincible you that you are.
And I’m so excited to support you in this journey. Let’s make sure that we spread this message, create that ripple effect of strength and positivity. And if you haven’t already subscribed, become part of this amazing community. Make sure you do that, subscribe, to my quora/medium accounts. Thank you all for being here, for your endless support, and for choosing empowerment, for choosing yourself, and to overcome the challenges and becoming the best version of yourself. We’re going to stay strong, we’re going to stay authentic, we’re going to stay shining bright. And remember, today’s a great day to start negotiating your best life.
For more ways to shift the power dynamic against the narcissist in your life check out my free masterclass right here: http://icanslay.com