“Do you think that a narcissist will never give up?” Well, I’m going to give you three surprising reasons that they actually will give up by the end of this article. Understand that we can have new beginnings and new futures. The first reason that a narcissist will give up is the quest for authentic connection. They actually do want to have authentic connection. They don’t know how to do it, but they actually do want that. We all want that, don’t we? They may seem invincible in their pursuit of power and admiration, but beneath their self-centered facade lies that deep shame that they have. They have this sense of deep shame. All human beings want to be connected to each other. Somewhere deep inside, we have this deep craving for authentic connection just like all of us do, right?
So their overt behaviors may scream for attention, but they have this persistent void inside of them, that persistent emptiness inside of them, longing for that true love, longing for that acceptance. So eventually, those emotional wounds and those early life experiences will send them on their way. They want to have that. They’ve got this fragileness inside of them. For example, despite their grandiose demeanor, some find themselves isolated and misunderstood. And so they jump from one superficial relationship to another seeking validation, seeking admiration, only to find themselves again feeling unfulfilled, feeling empty. That’s one example.
Another example is when faced with unconditional love, when faced with that genuine care of a partner or a friend; a narcissist might experience that profound internal conflict. On one hand, they crave that connection, but on another hand, their defenses push them away. It’s that trauma, you know. Trauma speaks for us a lot of times, you know. Our trauma gets in the way because our trauma fears that vulnerability, our trauma fears that rejection. So that’s number one.
Number two is confronting the mask. We often encounter the narcissist’s carefully crafted mask which shields their fragile ego from the world. What happens when that mask is beginning to crack, that fragile ego is struggling, they struggle with that, it becomes overwhelming for them. They have to look at their insecurities at that point. Remember, that mask is their shield and it protects that vulnerable core that’s deep down inside of them. Underneath there is that fear of rejection. They’re maintaining this facade and that takes a tremendous amount of energy. That’s why they need this constant validation and it’s extremely exhausting. And so, you know, at some point, they just go, ‘You know what, it’s too much. It just takes too much time, it takes too much energy. I might as well just go on to the next source of supply at this point because it’s easier to just get somebody else who’s not going to see what’s going on over here.’ So that’s another reason that they might just go ahead and give up. ‘Let me just go find somebody else who is not going to see what’s going on under here and I’ll just go to somebody who will just look at the facade.’
You know, some narcissists might experience moments of self-doubt when they encounter people that they genuinely respect and admire, and in those rare instances, they might drop their guard and allow their true selves to surface momentarily. So, and by the way, if you are dealing with a narcissist, it takes so much energy out of you. They suck the life out of you. I highly recommend that you make sure that you get the support and help that you need. Join my free private Facebook group if you haven’t already, which is Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. And you know, if you don’t have access to therapy, I have a sponsor on this channel, which is BetterHelp, and you can get that at betterhelp.com/rebeccazung. And it is a sponsor for us, so that means that we get paid commissions on that. It doesn’t cost you any extra. We just want you to have access to the help and support that you need.
Reason number three that a narcissist will give up, a surprising reason that a narcissist might give up, is the catalyst of empathy. Empathy has the power to ignite profound transformation even within the most deeply entrenched narcissist. So when they’re exposed to genuine empathy and compassion, a narcissist’s rigid mechanisms may crumble, revealing their wounded soul and opening the door to healing and growth. You know, narcissists often struggle with recognizing and understanding emotions in themselves and others, and genuine empathy can often serve as a mirror reflecting their suppressed pain and emotional needs, ultimately paving the way for positive change.
Now, I don’t recommend this during negotiations because, you know, if you try to do this during negotiations, they’re still just going to see you as the enemy. During negotiations, you have to have a certain boundary because you’re either for them or against them, and if you’re against them, then you’re definitely public enemy number one. So, you know, you have to use kind of what I call ethically manipulating the manipulator. So you’ve got to fluff or a favor, vomit later, or, you know, but you can do it in a certain way knowing that you’re doing it to get what you want. You know, that’s what I kind of say. Sometimes it works where you kind of maybe decoy them, letting them think that you’re wanting certain things, but that’s not actually what you want. Throw them off the scent of what you actually want because if they think you want a certain thing, then they’re going to definitely want to make sure that you don’t get that thing. But you know, you can maybe do it in that sort of way because they’re not necessarily self-aware. But don’t allow them to trigger you. Don’t allow them to trigger you. Understanding that that is what you’re dealing with when you’re dealing with a narcissist and show them, you know, maybe some kind of empathy, but don’t allow them to trigger you. Make sure that you don’t allow them to trigger you and have a certain boundary making sure that you always keep your boundaries in place and keep your own self-healing paramount when you’re dealing with this. Keep your own self-healing paramount and first and foremost. Those are three surprising reasons that a narcissist will give up. I have phrases for disarming narcissists, which I definitely recommend that you get, disarmthenarc.com, as well. Disarmthenarc.com. And you know, for you to use for disarming the narcissist if you are dealing with a narcissist, definitely check those out to use for emails or texts for yourself. Remember that to take care of yourself and that you can actually do this. You have the power, you have the ability. You’re so much stronger than you think. You’re so much smarter than you know. You have the ability to shine. You were meant to shine, you were meant for more, you were born to do this, and knowledge is the first step in becoming the most powerful and inspirational version of yourself. Thank you for being a part of this incredible community.
For more ways to shift the power dynamic against the narcissist in your life check out my free masterclass right here http://icanslay.com
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