Oprah once said, “When you succeed, you make enemies. It’s part of the territory.”
For narcissists, though, your success doesn’t just bother them — it threatens them. It shakes their fragile sense of control and self-worth.
I’ve experienced this personally. Years ago, I had a narcissistic business partner. Whenever I shared a win, there was either subtle sabotage or a wave of jealousy. Narcissists can’t celebrate you because your success feels like a mirror reflecting their inadequacy.
To them, if you shine, it means they fade — even though one person’s light doesn’t dim another’s. In reality, when everyone shines, the whole world becomes brighter. But narcissists don’t see it that way.
They twist your wins, chip away at your confidence, and sabotage your joy. It’s all part of their calculated need to stay in control.
- The Calculated Demolition
- Narcissists don’t randomly undermine you. It’s strategic. It’s intentional. Here’s how:
- Backhanded compliments: “Congratulations on the promotion! I guess that college degree wasn’t really necessary after all.”
- Strategic omissions: They forget to mention your accomplishments, but they’ll broadcast your mistakes loud and clear.
- Derailing projects or relationships: They’ll pick a fight or create chaos right when you’re about to achieve something big.
- Eroding your self-belief: Constant reminders like, “You just got lucky,” or “You’re not ready for this.”
These aren’t accidents — they’re calculated demolition jobs designed to make you doubt yourself.
- The Power Play for Control
Your independence is their kryptonite.
When you succeed, they feel like they’re losing control — like they’re no longer needed. So they tear you down just enough to make sure you come back, needing their validation.
They love to play the rescuer after creating chaos. It’s part of the trauma bond cycle.
They’ll play authority games, too — refusing to let you be seen as competent or admired. If you land a big client, for instance, your narcissistic boss might suddenly “need to review” your work or find a way to undermine your success, forcing you to seek their approval again.
Have you experienced this kind of sabotage? Comment “SUCCESS” below — because naming it is the first step to breaking free.
- Reclaiming Your Narrative
So, how do you stop them from wrecking your story?
- Set strong, unshakeable boundaries. Be crystal clear about what you will and won’t tolerate — and then enforce it.
- Never JADE: Don’t Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain.
- Detach emotionally: Their sabotage isn’t about you — it’s about their fear of losing control.
- Protect your energy: Share selectively. Only share your wins with people who genuinely cheer for you.
Your story is yours. Your power is yours. Don’t hand it over to someone who thrives on diminishing it.
- Thriving Beyond the Sabotage
Stop trying to make not your people your people.
Some people simply aren’t meant to be in your circle — and that’s okay. Focus on the ones who love, support, and celebrate you.
Remember: the ultimate revenge against sabotage is success they can’t touch.
Use their digs and doubts as your fuel. Let your success speak louder than any smear campaign or manipulation. Live authentically, flourish publicly, and let your thriving expose their emptiness — without you saying a word.
Because yes, success is the best revenge.
Surround yourself with people who celebrate your wins without resentment — mentors, friends, communities, and supportive spaces. When you shine despite their sabotage, you expose the truth.
There are two types of people around narcissists:
1️⃣ Those who let sabotage shrink them.
2️⃣ Those who recognize the tactics, protect their energy, and thrive.
Which one will you be?
You don’t beat narcissists by dimming your light.
You beat them by shining so brightly that their shadows can’t touch you.
✨ If this message resonated with you, make sure you’re subscribed to my channel so you never miss a daily strategy to protect your power and thrive.
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You can also join my free Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung, and connect with others who understand exactly what you’re going through.
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