Negotiations during the divorce can be tense, emotional and oftentimes, as a result.  Unproductive.  So for sure one of the things you must be aware of first and foremost is – leverage.

What is leverage?  Leverage is what you’ve got to incentivize the other person to settle the case.

What is the biggest mistake I see with this?

Giving your leverage away too early in the game.

It will look like this.    “I don’t want to fight so I know that I am entitled to half of his retirement but I’m not going to touch that.”   OR “I’m working so I won’t ask for spousal support.”  Something to that effect.

That what happens?

The other person doesn’t cooperate resulting in you having to spend more in fees.   Or the other person doesn’t agree to things you thought he or she was going to agree to.   So then you try to take back what you had agreed to, i.e. not going after things that you would perhaps be entitled to under the law.  And then – even worse- the other person gets enraged because you are now back tracking on your word.

That causes the negotiations to become even less productive, more tense, and more volatile than they would have been had you just started off with – I will see what I am entitled to under the law, consider the entire global settlement package (which includes all of the areas upon which you need to agree) and then decided what you want to give in on at that point.

The bottom line – keep your leverage until the final negotiations.  You might need it.

If you enjoyed this piece today, please remember to head to youtube and subscribe to me – I provide tips, secrets and tricks every day.

And also remember to head to www.breakingfreefromdivorce.com where I provide private virtual divorce masterclasses for navigating divorce and getting the winning settlement you deserve.   For a limited time, I am also providing my bestselling divorce book, Breaking Free:  A Step by Step Divorce Guide to Achieving Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Freedom, for free.   We pay for the book.  You cover shipping.  Relief delivered right to your mailbox.

Tomorrow, Wednesday Divorce Wisdom – please make sure to join me to hear about the Pitfalls of Social Media in Divorce.

Until then, remember – you are just one step away from your new life… together, we’ve got this.

More From Rebecca's Blog
Phrases Narcissists Use to Future Fake You

Phrases Narcissists Use to Future Fake You

Are you dealing with a narcissist and they keep making promises that they never keep? In this article, I’m going to show you why this kind of behavior is toxic and share with you some examples of what and how they pull it off. Have you unknowingly been playing the...

read more
10 Phrases Narcissists Truly Hate

10 Phrases Narcissists Truly Hate

Do you want to know what phrases narcissists absolutely hate? In this article you're going to know just what to say that is going to send that narcissist into a tizzy the way they like to usually do to you. So let's talk about the words that narcissists hate. They're...

read more
Previous
Next
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
Instagram
{%- if settings.favicon != blank -%} {%- endif -%} {%- unless settings.type_header_font.system? and settings.type_body_font.system? -%} {%- endunless -%} {{ page_title }} {%- if current_tags %} – tagged "{{ current_tags | join: ', ' }}"{% endif -%} {%- if current_page != 1 %} – Page {{ current_page }}{% endif -%} {%- unless page_title contains shop.name %} – {{ shop.name }}{% endunless -%} {% if page_description %} {% endif %} {% render 'meta-tags' %} {{ content_for_header }} {%- liquid assign body_font_bold = settings.type_body_font | font_modify: 'weight', 'bold' assign body_font_italic = settings.type_body_font | font_modify: 'style', 'italic' assign body_font_bold_italic = body_font_bold | font_modify: 'style', 'italic' %} {% style %} {{ settings.type_body_font | font_face: font_display: 'swap' }} {{ body_font_bold | font_face: font_display: 'swap' }} {{ body_font_italic | font_face: font_display: 'swap' }} {{ body_font_bold_italic | font_face: font_display: 'swap' }} {{ settings.type_header_font | font_face: font_display: 'swap' }} :root { --font-body-family: {{ settings.type_body_font.family }}, {{ settings.type_body_font.fallback_families }}; --font-body-style: {{ settings.type_body_font.style }}; --font-body-weight: {{ settings.type_body_font.weight }}; --font-body-weight-bold: {{ settings.type_body_font.weight | plus: 300 | at_most: 1000 }}; --font-heading-family: {{ settings.type_header_font.family }}, {{ settings.type_header_font.fallback_families }}; --font-heading-style: {{ settings.type_header_font.style }}; --font-heading-weight: {{ settings.type_header_font.weight }}; --font-body-scale: {{ settings.body_scale | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --font-heading-scale: {{ settings.heading_scale | times: 1.0 | divided_by: settings.body_scale }}; --color-base-text: {{ settings.colors_text.red }}, {{ settings.colors_text.green }}, {{ settings.colors_text.blue }}; --color-shadow: {{ settings.colors_text.red }}, {{ settings.colors_text.green }}, {{ settings.colors_text.blue }}; --color-base-background-1: {{ settings.colors_background_1.red }}, {{ settings.colors_background_1.green }}, {{ settings.colors_background_1.blue }}; --color-base-background-2: {{ settings.colors_background_2.red }}, {{ settings.colors_background_2.green }}, {{ settings.colors_background_2.blue }}; --color-base-solid-button-labels: {{ settings.colors_solid_button_labels.red }}, {{ settings.colors_solid_button_labels.green }}, {{ settings.colors_solid_button_labels.blue }}; --color-base-outline-button-labels: {{ settings.colors_outline_button_labels.red }}, {{ settings.colors_outline_button_labels.green }}, {{ settings.colors_outline_button_labels.blue }}; --color-base-accent-1: {{ settings.colors_accent_1.red }}, {{ settings.colors_accent_1.green }}, {{ settings.colors_accent_1.blue }}; --color-base-accent-2: {{ settings.colors_accent_2.red }}, {{ settings.colors_accent_2.green }}, {{ settings.colors_accent_2.blue }}; --payment-terms-background-color: {{ settings.colors_background_1 }}; --gradient-base-background-1: {% if settings.gradient_background_1 != blank %}{{ settings.gradient_background_1 }}{% else %}{{ settings.colors_background_1 }}{% endif %}; --gradient-base-background-2: {% if settings.gradient_background_2 != blank %}{{ settings.gradient_background_2 }}{% else %}{{ settings.colors_background_2 }}{% endif %}; --gradient-base-accent-1: {% if settings.gradient_accent_1 != blank %}{{ settings.gradient_accent_1 }}{% else %}{{ settings.colors_accent_1 }}{% endif %}; --gradient-base-accent-2: {% if settings.gradient_accent_2 != blank %}{{ settings.gradient_accent_2 }}{% else %}{{ settings.colors_accent_2 }}{% endif %}; --media-padding: {{ settings.media_padding }}px; --media-border-opacity: {{ settings.media_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --media-border-width: {{ settings.media_border_thickness }}px; --media-radius: {{ settings.media_radius }}px; --media-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.media_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --media-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.media_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --media-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.media_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --media-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.media_shadow_blur }}px; --media-shadow-visible: {% if settings.media_shadow_opacity > 0 %}1{% else %}0{% endif %}; --page-width: {{ settings.page_width | divided_by: 10 }}rem; --page-width-margin: {% if settings.page_width == '1600' %}2{% else %}0{% endif %}rem; --product-card-image-padding: {{ settings.card_image_padding | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --product-card-corner-radius: {{ settings.card_corner_radius | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --product-card-text-alignment: {{ settings.card_text_alignment }}; --product-card-border-width: {{ settings.card_border_thickness | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --product-card-border-opacity: {{ settings.card_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --product-card-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.card_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --product-card-shadow-visible: {% if settings.card_shadow_opacity > 0 %}1{% else %}0{% endif %}; --product-card-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.card_shadow_horizontal_offset | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --product-card-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.card_shadow_vertical_offset | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --product-card-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.card_shadow_blur | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --collection-card-image-padding: {{ settings.collection_card_image_padding | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --collection-card-corner-radius: {{ settings.collection_card_corner_radius | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --collection-card-text-alignment: {{ settings.collection_card_text_alignment }}; --collection-card-border-width: {{ settings.collection_card_border_thickness | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --collection-card-border-opacity: {{ settings.collection_card_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --collection-card-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.collection_card_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --collection-card-shadow-visible: {% if settings.collection_card_shadow_opacity > 0 %}1{% else %}0{% endif %}; --collection-card-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.collection_card_shadow_horizontal_offset | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --collection-card-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.collection_card_shadow_vertical_offset | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --collection-card-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.collection_card_shadow_blur | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --blog-card-image-padding: {{ settings.blog_card_image_padding | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --blog-card-corner-radius: {{ settings.blog_card_corner_radius | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --blog-card-text-alignment: {{ settings.blog_card_text_alignment }}; --blog-card-border-width: {{ settings.blog_card_border_thickness | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --blog-card-border-opacity: {{ settings.blog_card_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --blog-card-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.blog_card_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --blog-card-shadow-visible: {% if settings.blog_card_shadow_opacity > 0 %}1{% else %}0{% endif %}; --blog-card-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.blog_card_shadow_horizontal_offset | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --blog-card-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.blog_card_shadow_vertical_offset | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --blog-card-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.blog_card_shadow_blur | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --badge-corner-radius: {{ settings.badge_corner_radius | divided_by: 10.0 }}rem; --popup-border-width: {{ settings.popup_border_thickness }}px; --popup-border-opacity: {{ settings.popup_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --popup-corner-radius: {{ settings.popup_corner_radius }}px; --popup-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.popup_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --popup-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.popup_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --popup-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.popup_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --popup-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.popup_shadow_blur }}px; --drawer-border-width: {{ settings.drawer_border_thickness }}px; --drawer-border-opacity: {{ settings.drawer_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --drawer-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.drawer_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --drawer-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.drawer_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --drawer-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.drawer_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --drawer-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.drawer_shadow_blur }}px; --spacing-sections-desktop: {{ settings.spacing_sections }}px; --spacing-sections-mobile: {% if settings.spacing_sections < 24 %}{{ settings.spacing_sections }}{% else %}{{ settings.spacing_sections | times: 0.7 | round | at_least: 20 }}{% endif %}px; --grid-desktop-vertical-spacing: {{ settings.spacing_grid_vertical }}px; --grid-desktop-horizontal-spacing: {{ settings.spacing_grid_horizontal }}px; --grid-mobile-vertical-spacing: {{ settings.spacing_grid_vertical | divided_by: 2 }}px; --grid-mobile-horizontal-spacing: {{ settings.spacing_grid_horizontal | divided_by: 2 }}px; --text-boxes-border-opacity: {{ settings.text_boxes_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --text-boxes-border-width: {{ settings.text_boxes_border_thickness }}px; --text-boxes-radius: {{ settings.text_boxes_radius }}px; --text-boxes-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.text_boxes_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --text-boxes-shadow-visible: {% if settings.text_boxes_shadow_opacity > 0 %}1{% else %}0{% endif %}; --text-boxes-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.text_boxes_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --text-boxes-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.text_boxes_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --text-boxes-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.text_boxes_shadow_blur }}px; --buttons-radius: {{ settings.buttons_radius }}px; --buttons-radius-outset: {% if settings.buttons_radius > 0 %}{{ settings.buttons_radius | plus: settings.buttons_border_thickness }}{% else %}0{% endif %}px; --buttons-border-width: {% if settings.buttons_border_opacity > 0 %}{{ settings.buttons_border_thickness }}{% else %}0{% endif %}px; --buttons-border-opacity: {{ settings.buttons_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --buttons-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.buttons_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --buttons-shadow-visible: {% if settings.buttons_shadow_opacity > 0 %}1{% else %}0{% endif %}; --buttons-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.buttons_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --buttons-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.buttons_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --buttons-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.buttons_shadow_blur }}px; --buttons-border-offset: {% if settings.buttons_radius > 0 or settings.buttons_shadow_opacity > 0 %}0.3{% else %}0{% endif %}px; --inputs-radius: {{ settings.inputs_radius }}px; --inputs-border-width: {{ settings.inputs_border_thickness }}px; --inputs-border-opacity: {{ settings.inputs_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --inputs-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.inputs_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --inputs-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.inputs_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --inputs-margin-offset: {% if settings.inputs_shadow_vertical_offset != 0 and settings.inputs_shadow_opacity > 0 %}{{ settings.inputs_shadow_vertical_offset | abs }}{% else %}0{% endif %}px; --inputs-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.inputs_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --inputs-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.inputs_shadow_blur }}px; --inputs-radius-outset: {% if settings.inputs_radius > 0 %}{{ settings.inputs_radius | plus: settings.inputs_border_thickness }}{% else %}0{% endif %}px; --variant-pills-radius: {{ settings.variant_pills_radius }}px; --variant-pills-border-width: {{ settings.variant_pills_border_thickness }}px; --variant-pills-border-opacity: {{ settings.variant_pills_border_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --variant-pills-shadow-opacity: {{ settings.variant_pills_shadow_opacity | divided_by: 100.0 }}; --variant-pills-shadow-horizontal-offset: {{ settings.variant_pills_shadow_horizontal_offset }}px; --variant-pills-shadow-vertical-offset: {{ settings.variant_pills_shadow_vertical_offset }}px; --variant-pills-shadow-blur-radius: {{ settings.variant_pills_shadow_blur }}px; } *, *::before, *::after { box-sizing: inherit; } html { box-sizing: border-box; font-size: calc(var(--font-body-scale) * 62.5%); height: 100%; } body { display: grid; grid-template-rows: auto auto 1fr auto; grid-template-columns: 100%; min-height: 100%; margin: 0; font-size: 1.5rem; letter-spacing: 0.06rem; line-height: calc(1 + 0.8 / var(--font-body-scale)); font-family: var(--font-body-family); font-style: var(--font-body-style); font-weight: var(--font-body-weight); } @media screen and (min-width: 750px) { body { font-size: 1.6rem; } } {% endstyle %} {{ 'base.css' | asset_url | stylesheet_tag }} {%- unless settings.type_body_font.system? -%} {%- endunless -%} {%- unless settings.type_header_font.system? -%} {%- endunless -%} {%- if settings.predictive_search_enabled -%} {%- endif -%} {{ "accessibility.skip_to_text" | t }} {%- if settings.cart_type == 'drawer' -%} {%- render 'cart-drawer' -%} {%- endif -%} {% sections 'header-group' %}
{{ content_for_layout }}
{% sections 'footer-group' %} {%- if settings.predictive_search_enabled -%} {%- endif -%}