Are you having trouble accepting closure from a narcissist? There are so many things to accept so you can finally break free, move on, be on a path of self-discovery, and get your life back. I want to go over this with you in this article because I know how it was hard for me, and I want to give you that gift.
It’s quite difficult to get to where you are now to where you want to be if you carry the baggage that these narcissists use to weigh you down. Whenever I run my masterclasses, or do one on one consultations, I usually get asked how to get from where you are to where you want to go. Unfortunately, some of us are caught in this dark place that’s devoid of hope and is such a crippling experience. So much so that getting out of it feels like a moving target that’s just out of reach. It can be because we’ve been lied to so much that we no longer know what’s left from right, maybe financially drained, or perhaps been through the court system that we feel doesn’t work that we have become disenfranchised.
There will always be narcissists in the world and they will always be toxic. That’s why I designed my SLAY (Strategize, Leverage, Anticipate, and You) program to help people deal with and break free from them. I get that it’s sometimes convenient and easier to point out what’s wrong in a world filled with narcissists, but a key component in my SLAY program is “You”. It’s your mindset, it’s you taking control and being on the offensive, and becoming this incredible, confident, powerful, and authentic version of yourself. I focus on the “You” because that’s truly a narcissist’s kryptonite. Narcissists don’t know who they really are. They don’t know their own power because they always derive their power and idea of self-worth from external sources. That’s why narcissists are constantly looking for external sources to feed their ego. And I’ll tell you right now, that is the flimsiest and cheapest form of power anyone can get.
Accepting and knowing who you really are, and your power is the best things you can do. What will free you from a narcissist is to accept that they will never change, that they can’t be saved, that you’re not going to get any closure from them, and that they’re never going to see your side. Narcissists can’t do any of these because they can’t see past themselves. And for them to receive love from anybody, they first have to be a vessel for it, to give first before they receive. But I tell you, they’re none of these things. So, if you’re still waiting on the day that the narcissists will somehow acknowledge what they did to close off that loop you’ve been painstakingly trying to get past, or somehow think that you’re going to beat them by submission, think again. You’re never going to be free if you’re waiting on any of these because the more you up the ante, they will definitely take it farther than you’re willing to go. Narcissists are known to willingly take themselves down just to run you through the ground. The best thing you can do is to let them have the optics of whatever. If you can get what you want but somehow not let them know you got what you wanted, then that’s great. Throw them off your scent. Pull off your best acting job. Ask for way more than what you want, so when you get less than what you actually asked for but got what you really wanted, without knowing you’re playing them, then you’ve won the game. The bottom line is you’re free. Wish them well and send them off. At the end of the day, you’re free, now you can dust yourself off, start building yourself again and heal. This is how you break free.
Remember, today is the best day to start negotiating your best life. You got this. I think Henry Ford said it best when he said whether you think you can or can’t you’re right. Your mindset is everything. Focus on “You”.
