reality. It’s a way to destabilize people, especially in negotiations. I’ve had to
deal with covert narcissists myself several times and I’ve seen gaslighting
used in various ways.
The term “Gaslighting” came from a 1930’s play called Gas Light. It was
about a husband who was trying to get his wife to think that she was going
crazy. He would blow out these gaslights and the wife would say, “Wasn’t
that just lit?” and say, “No, no, I wasn’t.”. That’s how that term came about.
He was trying to make her question her mind and make her think she was
crazy through manipulation.
So, what are the hidden signs of gaslighting? Well, one of the things they do
is invalidate, and trivialize. They’ll say something like, “Oh my goodness,
you’re so sensitive, you’re so overly dramatic”. “Where did that come
from?”. They’ll try to make you feel like you have no right to feel the way
you do. Narcissists utilize gaslighting since it allows them to have plausible
deniability. That way, if anybody questions, they can respond with “What? I
didn’t say anything”.
Another hidden sign of gaslighting is projection and deflection. You bring
something up and they’ll change the subject, and all of a sudden, you’re not
talking about what you wanted to talk about. Conversations are constantly
shifted and projected off to something else entirely, or they’ll say “We’ll talk
about it later…”. Another way that they’ll do this is they will question the
way you brought something up or the tone that you used to start the
conversation. Aside from the “how”, they would even question the “why”,
“where”, and “when” you brought it up. It’s their way of belittling you, of
putting you down and letting you know that you don’t matter to them.
Another way is they’ll twist the details the way things took place, and say
“We talked about that, don’t you remember?” or “I don’t remember talking
about that”. They will deconstruct and reconstruct events in different ways
to the point that you’ll start to question your memory and sanity. Narcissists
are prone to presenting alternate versions of reality to suit better the
narrative they want to paint, and it feels draining to constantly defend
yourself when dealing with them.
their DNA. There’s just something off about them and you can feel it when
you are dealing with them. It’s that thing in your chest, or that pit in your
Narcissists come from this place of survival. That’s how they are in the
world. They prey upon empaths. Empaths pour their hearts and souls into
them believing that they can help them but unfortunately narcissists feel
empty inside and while they want you fill that black hole, it cannot be filled,
and so you are left feeling totally and utterly depleted, and they are still
feeling empty. Thus, you just have to do what you need to do to protect
Remember that you can SLAY this because you definitely can. Mindset is
everything. The not so secret, secret is that narcissists are actually way
more afraid of you than you are of them. They just don’t want you to know
that. By focusing on creating a winning Strategy, which includes invincible
Leverage, that Anticipates what the narcissist is going to do and stays two
steps ahead of them, and focuses on You being on the offensive and Your
mindset, you can win every single time.
Today’s a great day to start negotiating your best life. For a great place to
start, join my free live masterclass on the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets on How to
Communicate with Narcissists, right here: