Do you have a narcissist in your life and you have no idea how to manage him or her? By the end of this article, you’ll know exactly how to manage that narcissist in your life and shut them down so that you can actually at peace in your life.
Now if you are dealing with a narcissist in your life, whether it’s a friend, a romantic partner, a business partner, a neighbor, a coworker, a boss, an employee, whatever. They are probably driving you crazy. I get it because I’ve had to deal with my own share of narcissists in my life and there were times that I could swear that they were actually trying to drive me crazy.
What they really want to do is look as good as possible, and you’re either a vehicle to help them do that or you’re not. If you are a vehicle to help them look as good as possible, then you’re useful. If you’re not, then you’re not. And that’s really how cut and dry it is, unfortunately, when it comes to narcissists. So that’s why in the beginning if they see that you have value, then they’re as wonderful as they possibly can be to you, and as your value starts to slowly erode for them, so does their behavior toward you. So as you uncover their scheme and you start calling them out on their behavior, their behavior and their treatment of you actually becomes worse and worse. And at some point you may become the enemy because really what they’re trying to do is look as good as possible and you’re either helping him in doing that or you are not.
Okay, so with all of that joy and lightness in mind, what can you do to manage this narcissist that may be in your life? So step number one is not to criticize them. You just don’t want to directly criticize them. You may want to point things out, things like that. But if you are wanting this narcissist to actually be somewhat pleasant to you then you definitely cannot criticize in any way. They can’t take criticism, even if they smell, the little scent or aroma in the air of something that may be perceived as a criticism, they’re going to come back on you like nobody’s business. And personally, I don’t, I’m not one to pander to people, I don’t really like having to do that. And so what I just tend to do is try to avoid the situation altogether. I don’t say, “Oh, you’re so wonderful.” But I also try to stay away from criticizing.
I mean the bottom line is you want to try to work this person out of your life, but you have to learn how to deal with them because there’s going to be another narcissist that comes along unless you really learn how to deal with this. So I would just say try to stay away from directly criticizing this narcissist or you’re going to … they’re not going to take the criticism as a constructive feedback and incorporate it and make changes. So you might as well just stay away from criticizing them. It’s not going to make any difference anyway.
The second thing that you can do is not to ignore the narcissist completely. They hate being ignored. And I wouldn’t say play into every single a bit of attention that they want, but this is … on managing a narcissist, believe me, as I said earlier, I’m not one to pander. I hate that kind of stuff and I really dislike it from narcissist and especially covert narcissists. But sometimes you have to deal with them. So this is how you manage their personality, right? And you’re managing them in a way so that you can survive so that it’s the most pleasant it could possibly be for you.
So number two is not to ignore them completely. They can’t stand that, they hate, they’re going to come back at you 10 fold, they’re going to drive you absolutely insane. So maybe what you do is you just give them enough of an answer so that they can feel like you got something, if they got something out of you, but not so much that you feel like you’re pandering to them. Just remember that the narcissist is one of the most insecure people on the planet, and so without their ego, they feel like they cease to exist. So giving them some of what they want, will help you go a long way toward getting what you want as well.
And number three thing that you can do is stay disengaged. It’s so hard because they’re constantly manipulating you. They’re constantly trying to give you bait so that you take the bait, that you will get emotional and then they know that they have you. Once you get emotional, they know they have you. And they’re constantly trying to manipulate you into their layer of control, and so by staying disengaged, you stay out of that layer of control. Okay. So remember, manipulation is their game, and by not giving them 100% of what they want, you will help to shut them down or at least minimize their behavior.
If you are dealing with a narcissist and you want to know more about how to communicate with them, come join me at my FREE Webinar, the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets for Communicating with a Narcissist. You can sign up for that RIGHT HERE.