Do you want to know how to starve a narcissist? I’m going to give you six ways to starve that narcissist and the best one is at the end.
Number one is Create Strong Boundaries. I’ve had to deal with narcissism myself in my personal life, and I know how they are. They don’t respect boundaries because they don’t really see you as a person, they see you as a possession. Narcissists see you as an extension of themselves and sees you as a way to get their narcissistic supply. They want to own & control you. So, when you lay down boundaries, narcissists wouldn’t want to respect that & they’re going to want to break through, flood you with texts & show up at your house or office, but you have to condition them. Narcissists have conditioned you during the love bombing phase at the beginning of the relationship, started conditioning you to see if you were going to be a good form of supply. So, in order to start starving them, you have to start shifting the relationship and recondition them. it’s going to be hard, but you’re going to have to do it. That’s number one, Create Strong Boundaries
Number two is Brief Interactions. You could literally start setting time interactions. “I will speak to this person, but it’s going to be for 30 minutes. And that’s it.” You could literally set a timer on your phone or set in agenda and say, “I will speak to this person. It will be for 30 minutes. And we are only going to talk about X. And that’s it. Nothing more. If it goes beyond that topic or that amount of time, I’m done.” That’s number two, Brief Interactions.
Number three, No Emotion. And that’s part of keeping it brief because it’s hard. They know exactly how to trigger you, & they’ll do whatever they can to accomplish that. They know how to get under your skin, & they’ll go right for that jugular. You have to make sure that you show no emotions whatsoever. Part of the reason why they try to trigger you is so that they can use how you reacted to the situation against you, especially in writing. So be really, really careful about that. That’s number three. No Emotion.
Number four is Don’t Take the Bait. This is part of No Emotion, but it’s a step further. Narcissists will send things out there to bait you & to hook you in. It may be hovering, love bombing, or anything to lure you into their web. It can be something that they say or do, and it may even be through a third-party! Show up somewhere at a third-party’s house, or do something with a third-party. They’re going to do everything to get your attention, & to get you triggered. But you just have to say you’re not going to take their bait because they’re trying to get that supply out of you. And if you’re truly going to starve the narcissist from that supply, you have to make that resolution to yourself that you’re not going to fall for it. It can be hard, but you’ll just have to say, “I won’t take the bait.” That’s number four.
The next one is Not Responding to A Narcissists’ Texts in an Emotional Way. Really be careful about how you’re responding to them in writing because this is where they’re going to catch you, and they’re going to use it against you. Remember, dealing with a narcissist is like getting arrested: Anything that you do or say, they will definitely be used against you. That’s number five.
The last one is definitely the best one. Some people I get are still intertwined and intermingled. Not everybody can do this, but if you can, definitely the last one is Walk Away. Definitely walk away if you can do it, just get out, move on. I always say, wipe them from the CPU of your life if you can. The air is cleaner. The sky is bluer. The grass is greener. So, if there’s a way that you can move on, definitely do that.