Are you wondering why certain people around you often say one thing but mean another? It could be because those people are narcissists. Narcissists can be incredibly tricky to read, as they deceive and manipulate in a very calculated way to get what they want. The following 10 phrases that narcissists commonly use may help explain the behavior of someone close to you – and while it won’t make them less difficult to deal with, it might give you some insight into their internal thoughts. Keep reading for an eye-opening glimpse into the manipulative tactics used by narcissists!
Number One. “I love you”. When a narcissist says, “I love you”, they convey a desire to control and manipulate the relationship for their own benefit. The love they express is often conditional, based on what the other person can provide in terms of attention, validation, and support. In essence, a narcissist’s proclamation of love is often a facade to maintain their self-centered needs and shield their fragile ego.
Number two. “We’re soulmates”. When a narcissist claims that “we’re soulmates,” they are attempting to manipulate your emotions and create a sense of dependency. By portraying themselves as your perfect match, they establish a connection based on grandiose fantasies that elevate their own importance in your life. This illusionary bond grants them control and power over you, ultimately making you vulnerable to their self-centered and exploitative behaviors.
Number three. “My ex was crazy or a psycho”. When a narcissist claims their ex was “crazy” or a “psycho,” they are typically deflecting from their own negative contributions to the relationship and projecting their own inner chaos onto their former partner. This manipulative tactic is designed to make the narcissist appear as the innocent victim, while any legitimate grievances or issues their ex may have raised are dismissed as irrational or unstable behavior. In doing so, the narcissist actively perpetuates a false narrative around their ex-partner, often engaging in smear campaigns and gaslighting to maintain control and secure sympathy from others.
Number four. “You’re not trustworthy”. When a narcissist says, “You’re not trustworthy,” they are often projecting their own trust issues onto you, attempting to shift the focus from their untrustworthy behavior. Essentially, they are deflecting from their own flaws and creating a situation where you are made to feel guilty or unworthy of trust. This manipulative tactic, known as “gaslighting,” can leave victims questioning their own instincts and reality, ultimately strengthening the narcissist’s control over them.
Number five. “Let’s just forget about the past”. When a narcissist says, “Let’s just forget about the past,” what they truly desire is to dodge responsibility for their harmful actions and manipulative behavior. They rely heavily on their magnetic charm to divert attention from their misdeeds, aiming to entice you back into a toxic cycle of control and emotional manipulation. This statement also serves as an attempt to rewrite history, invalidating your lived experiences and your right to hold them accountable for the harm they’ve caused.
Number six. “You interrupted me”. When a narcissist says, “you interrupted me,” they are essentially deflecting responsibility for their actions and trying to maintain control in a situation. Instead of acknowledging any fault or addressing the issue, they shift the focus onto the other person’s behavior. This is a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists to retain power and avoid any genuine discussion, as they prefer to maintain an image of self-importance and superiority, rather than be held accountable for their words or actions.
Number seven. “I never said that” or” you heard me wrong” or” you’re remembering wrong”. When a narcissist says those it often indicates their reluctance to be held responsible for their words and actions. This manipulative tactic, known as gaslighting, can lead the victim to doubt their own perception and memory of the events, allowing the narcissist to maintain control in the relationship. They aim to create an illusion of infallibility, thus ensuring that any negative outcomes or consequences are redirected away from themselves, and further reinforcing the power dynamic in their favor.
Number eight. “You’re too sensitive”. When a narcissist says, “You’re too sensitive,” they are essentially dismissing your emotions and feelings as an attempt to evade taking responsibility for their actions or behavior. This statement is a manipulation technique used to undermine your self-esteem, making you doubt your own perceptions and ultimately maintain control in the relationship. It’s important to understand that a narcissist’s lack of empathy and unwillingness to acknowledge your emotions is not a reflection of your sensitivity, but rather their inability to connect and validate others on an emotional level.
Number nine. “With all due respect”. When a narcissist utters the phrase “With all due respect,” they typically exhibit an underlying disregard for the listener’s feelings or opinions. This statement serves as a manipulative tactic to feign politeness and maintain an appearance of superiority, while covertly belittling the recipient. Narcissists exploit this contradictory expression to maintain control and establish dominance in interactions, effectively masking their inherent lack of empathy and emotional intelligence.
Number 10. “Stop being so selfish”. When a narcissist says, “Stop being so selfish,” their true intention is to manipulate and maintain control in the relationship. They often project their own selfish behavior onto others, deflecting accountability and avoiding responsibility for their actions. By doing so, they can continue to prioritize their own needs and emotions while dismissing and invalidating the experiences of those around them.
Although narcissists may appear to be offering compliments or flattery, it is only a mask for selfishness. It is important to remember that while their words sound pleasant and satisfactory, they are often motivated by the sole purpose of putting themselves first. Often the best course of action is to take a step back and understand the true meaning behind their language, as it can lead to an improved understanding of their intentions. With this knowledge, you may be better equipped to respond accordingly and protect yourself from being taken advantage of. After all, being aware of these common phrases used by narcissists gives us the power to recognize lies masquerading as truths and remind them that gifts come with conditions – even if those terms aren’t carefully articulated at first.
