Settling your case in mediation IS possible.
It is possible to settle a case through mediation with a Narcissist. A lot of people will say not to bother with this or with trying to settle a case with a narcissist at all. They misunderstand that it can actually happen. I have had many, many narcissists settle in mediation. The key to doing this is to first understand that Narcissists aren’t actually looking to settle the case in mediation because they get Narcissist Supply from jerking you around. You have to become aware of this and anticipate it if you want the possibility of actually settling your case with a Narcissist.
A common mistake people make when they go into a mediation with a Narcissist is that they still believe or hope that the person they are dealing with is a reasonable person. People might think that mediators will simply help the two of you resolve your differences but it really just ends up being an incredibly expensive conversation that doesn’t get you anywhere.
Why mediation is a good idea.
If you sign a settlement agreement in mediation then the case is done; therefore, the Narcissist cannot combat the outcome. If you go to court and go before a judge in order to resolve your case, the decision is appealable. If you receive your favorable outcome through a judge’s verdict, the Narcissist can appeal it. They can even file a motion to stay the orders which means that whatever outcome was decided upon can be held in limbo until the appeal process is over.
Appeals take a long time to get resolved and time is money so they become very expensive. Most of the time people who appeal don’t prevail. But even so, you’re still dealing with this Narcissist for much longer than you would like and shelling out funds just to do so. Because of this, it is definitely better to try to get them to sign an agreement in mediation.
How to get a Narcissist to settle in mediation.
SLAY. Strategy. Leverage. Anticipation. You and Your Case. This is the method that I have used time and time again to get Narcissists to settle. You must have a super strong strategy with enough leverage in order to motivate and incentivize them into settling. You must establish an offensive position for yourself and most importantly- have great leverage.I break these down for you in detail and give you step by step instruction on how to do this in my online course.
An important thing to note is that you will want them to sign a settlement agreement in mediation when the mediator and other lawyers are present. Do not go back and forth between your attorneys to try to get them to sign an agreement. Narcissists desperately want to uphold their image so if you have all your leverage ready to go and show up to mediation with all of it, you can use this weakness of theirs to corner them into settling then and there. I like to call this ethically manipulating the manipulator.
