By Rebecca Zung
Do you ever feel like there’s something missing in your relationship with the narcissist in your life? They’re distant, evasive and often controlling – but they never seem to answer the important questions. You know that if only they could be honest with you about how they really feel about you, everything would be easier. Unfortunately, this is an impossible ask of a narcissist. As an expert on narcissistic behavior, these individuals are highly skilled at avoiding accountability and scrutiny – resorting to manipulation or outright lies when questioned about their intentions. Here we’ll look at five common questions that narcissists desperately avoid – giving victims insight into why their partners evade these topics and what it means for them as someone who has been taken advantage of by such behaviors.
Question #1: Can you admit when you’re wrong? Or Can you offer a genuine apology?
Narcissists often struggle to answer these questions: It’s difficult for them to acknowledge their mistakes and take responsibility. They may even employ manipulation tactics, using occasional apologies as a means of controlling situations. These manipulated apologies, which I like to call “faux pologies,” further exemplify their deceptive nature.
Question #2: How do you truly feel about yourself?
Narcissists struggle to confront certain questions that challenge their self-image. When asked “How do you truly feel about yourself?” they may respond with confident statements like “I feel great, I am amazing.” However, these claims do not necessarily reflect their true emotional state. Behind their inflated sense of self, narcissists often harbor fragile self-esteem and lack deep introspection regarding their true self-worth. This internal conflict is one of the reasons why they are resistant to therapy.
Question #3: Are you capable of empathy?
Narcissists often try to avoid facing one crucial question: “Are you capable of empathy?” When it comes to empathy, narcissists frequently resort to pretending they understand and can relate to others. They may even mirror empathetic behavior at times. However, spending enough time with a narcissist reveals their true lack of genuine empathy. It becomes evident when they are merely feigning empathy, as they often forget to show genuine care and understanding. This contrast serves as a reminder to readers of the importance of authentic empathy and the impact it can have on relationships.
Question #4: What are your true intentions?
Narcissists avidly elude specific inquiries, particularly the one questioning their genuine intentions or underlying motivations. Engaging them in conversations that delve into authentic emotions and future aspirations is a territory they actively avoid. These individuals prefer to dwell on surface-level interactions and steer clear from discussions that might expose their true nature.
Question #5: Do you genuinely care about others?
Narcissists often avoid certain questions that strike at the core of their self-centered nature. It’s no surprise that their priorities lie solely with themselves. Imagine someone with a massive toothache; all they can think about is the excruciating pain. In a similar manner, narcissists are consumed by their own needs, feelings, and desires, neglecting the presence and emotions of those around them. It’s this self-centeredness that characterizes their behavior, making it difficult for them to genuinely consider and care for others.
As we have discussed, narcissists are so paralyzed by fear and insecurity that they will actively seek to avoid certain questions. By understanding these five questions, you can be better equipped to identify and defend yourself against narcissists in the future. Whether they come in the form of toxic family members or former friends, this knowledge can help protect your heart from the hurt narcissists cause without having to directly confront them. It’s important to remember though – these same tactics won’t work on every person in difficult situations. Sometimes, honest conversations can lead to understanding and a deeper connection between people; it’s important to advocate for yourself with an open mind. Ultimately, arming yourself with knowledge of behavioral patterns like this is key to safeguarding yourself from narcissistic behavior and its far-reaching consequences.