No one likes conflict—or at least, very few people do. Some people seem to thrive on conflict, bringing it with them everywhere like the plague. These people are known as high conflict personalities. Whether in the workplace, circle of friends, or a relationship, dealing with a high conflict personality is draining and stressful, to say the least.
Fortunately, conflict negotiation coaches can be incredible resources for these situations. High conflict negotiation coaches can provide empowerment and emotional clarity in the face of manipulative or toxic dynamics. Whether you’re dealing with an extremely difficult person or a true narcissist, a conflict coach can help you reclaim control.
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Why Traditional Approaches to Conflict Fall Short
When you experience conflict with someone else, the traditional approach is that after you’ve both cooled down, you come together to rationally discuss a solution and help fix any hurt feelings. This method sounds great, right?
Unfortunately, to a narcissist or high conflict personality, this approach is never an option. Rational approaches don’t take into account the emotional manipulation and psychological games these people love to play. Until a narcissist feels like they’ve won the battle and drained you dry—emotionally and sometimes even financially—they won’t stop.
As the victim, you and any others involved are often left confused about your treatment and where to go next. You feel emotionally drained and completely unqualified to stand up for yourself.
In situations involving narcissists and difficult people, you and your colleagues may fall into reactive patterns that only escalate the conflict. Worse, you may end up sacrificing your own well-being to try to avoid more conflict. With an experienced negotiation coach, however, you can turn the situation on its head and help all parties experience relief and peace.
What Makes Coaching for Conflict Resolution So Effective
Have you ever had a conflict with someone and left feeling defeated, only later realizing all the smart things you should have said? That’s often the case with conflict, especially when you’re dealing with narcissists and high conflict individuals.
Now imagine knowing all those bright things to say before the conflict ever happens. That’s just one of the advantages of consulting a coach. They offer conflict resolution courses and negotiation skills training to help you come at things rationally, calmly, and confidently. They can show you how to personalize your approaches to manage toxic interactions in an emotionally intelligent way.
Coaching is especially helpful in situations involving narcissists. Conflict coaches, especially those who are trained in narcissistic abuse dynamics, help their clients build leverage, stay grounded, and regain their voice.
While therapists might be helpful for helping you recover from narcissistic abuse, they won’t be as helpful for de-escalating the conflict itself. Therapists typically focus on healing past wounds, while conflict coaching is action-oriented and future-focused, empowering you to solve conflict in the best way possible.
What You’ll Learn from Conflict Coaching
Conflict coaches teach you to navigate conflict without getting too emotionally involved. They often teach philosophies like “Observe, Don’t Absorb” and “Respond, Don’t React.” These techniques help you keep a clear head both during and after high conflict situations.
Coaches also teach you to recognize and neutralize manipulative tactics. Often, you don’t even recognize when someone is manipulating you—and that’s especially true when you’re the victim of an intelligent narcissist. Gaslighting, triangulation, and projection are some of the favorite techniques of a narcissist. Coaches help you recognize when one of these tactics is being used on you so you can stay two steps ahead of them.
Some situations involve high stakes, including court appearances, custody negotiations, or even difficult conversations with family members. In these instances, making one wrong move could cost you dearly. Coaches help mentally prepare you so you know what to expect and can think straight during stressful conversations.
How Coaching Rebuilds Confidence and Creates Clarity
Victims of narcissistic abuse often lose their sense of self. The endless toxicity the narcissist projects, along with the gaslighting and manipulation, makes victims question their own reasoning, emotions, and sanity. Eventually, victims become a shell of their former selves—afraid to trust their own experiences or say something that might set the narcissist off.
Even those who aren’t bona fide narcissists but still have strong, difficult personalities take a toll on those around them. However, receiving help from a conflict coach helps you reclaim your personal power and reset internal boundaries. This sets the stage for rediscovering your voice, learning to trust yourself again, and regaining the confidence to stand up for yourself.
The guided practice and support that a coach provides helps clients create a clear path forward, too. Where before you only felt confusion and uncertainty, with a coach’s guidance, you can develop a clear conflict resolution roadmap. Even better, this advice is tailored to your unique situation. That way, you can confidently go into each interaction armed with specific conversation tools to overcome the difficult person’s attacks.
The combination of confidence and clarity that a coach provides helps you shift from fear to freedom in even the most challenging confrontations.
Choosing the Right High Conflict Negotiation Coach for You
When you’ve dealt with conflict long enough, you feel desperate for relief. And while conflict coaches provide that relief, not all are equipped to deal with your situation.
First, look for someone with expertise in narcissistic personality dynamics. Many coaches are trained in general conflict mediation, but they have no experience dealing with narcissists. The manipulative tactics narcissists use are a whole new ballgame compared to typical conflict-centered situations. If your coach isn’t prepared to help you deal with a narcissist or high-conflict individual, they can’t give you what you need.
You should also find a coach who can blend empathy with tough love. It’s essential to find someone who can validate your experiences and instill you with the confidence you need while also pushing you to rise above the chaos and assert yourself.
Some coaches offer additional benefits. Online programs, group support, and legal-adjacent guidance can be invaluable, especially if you’re dealing with a high-conflict divorce or custody battle. Coaches who provide these advantages can help you grow even more confident as you navigate your high conflict situation.
Conflict Resolution Coaching: More Than Advice
Some people shrug off coaching as wasting money for validation. They might think coaches are unqualified, or you can get all the information you need online for free.
While Google certainly provides you with information, sorting through thousands of pages to find nuggets of wisdom is extremely time-consuming. Worse, it can’t help you tailor strategies to your situation or give you the confidence you need to navigate conflict.
No one has to go through toxic conflict alone. Look for a coach who understands narcissists and high conflict individuals, who can rebuild your confidence, and who offers other benefits like legal expertise and a supportive community. A coach like this will offer more than just advice; they’ll be a strategic partner on your path to peace and power.