Narcissists lie, we know that for a fact, but how do you know that they’re lying the minute something leaves their mouth? I’m going to give you eight comments right here that reveal that they’re being dishonest the minute it leaves their mouth. But how can you know that they are lying right away? Remember that we want to make sure that we give you all the knowledge that you can. Knowledge is power. It helps us to grow stronger and protects us against any kind of situations where somebody is being dishonest with us. But especially when somebody is a narcissist or a toxic personality, a high-conflict personality, whether you’re dealing with it in a professional situation or a personal situation, you want to grow stronger. You want to have that information. You want to be able to recognize those patterns, right?
Let’s jump right into the eight comments that reveal a narcissist’s dishonesty. The very first one is self-praising comments. Narcissists often use comments to praise themselves, to seek validation, to seek admiration from others. So, these often reveal their deep need for constant affirmation and their beliefs that they are superior to other people. They might say things like, “Wow, I’m just so great,” and they might even say, “Haha, just kidding,” but they aren’t really just kidding. And they might say things like this in a way that makes it appear like they’re not really being serious, but they are sort of being serious. They’re trying to get people to notice them, where they’re trying to get people to complement them. They use comments to excessively praise themselves and seek validation and admiration from others.
The second one is the deflecting comment where they are avoiding taking responsibility for their actions by directing the focus onto others or external factors. So, they’re refusing to acknowledge their mistakes and instead blaming others to protect their fragile egos. This might look like or show up like, “I failed a project because my team members didn’t support me. It’s their fault, not mine.” Or, “I wouldn’t have lied to you, but you know you pushed me into a corner with your questions. It was your fault that I had to do what I had to do.” Not taking responsibility for their own actions. That’s number two.
The next one is the gaslighter comment. The gas lighting comment is a person who is constantly manipulating others by denying or distorting reality, trying to make the other person feel like they’re crazy by saying things that distort reality, either completely distorting reality by just flat out lying about what happened or making them doubt their own perceptions of reality. We talked about that, and you agreed to it. Don’t you remember? And you know that that conversation never took place. Or they might twist what actually happened or twist the truth, try to create confusion. This is all trying to destabilize the person or just trying to project and deflect. “You’re overreacting. I never said that. You’re too sensitive. You’re misunderstanding. You’re just being paranoid.” I could go on and on, but you’ve got to get the idea. So, that’s the next comment that reveals a narcissist’s dishonesty.
You know, if I’m on point so far, give me a “true that” in the comments below. I know you guys have seen some of these so far. The next one is the invalidating comment. The way this shows up is a narcissist who undermines other people’s feelings or experiences to maintain control and diminish their self-esteem. They invalidate the emotions of others because they cannot empathize with them. They either can’t process it, they don’t want to have to deal with it, they don’t have the patience for it, or they just can’t. So, they just say, “You’re making too much of it. You’re making too much of a big deal about it. You’re too sensitive. You’re overly dramatic. It’s not that serious,” that sort of thing. So, they just completely invalidate what the other person is saying. That’s the invalidating comment.
And by the way, if you are dealing with something like that where your feelings just aren’t heard, that is so painful. That’s where you really need to have the support system around you. If you don’t have a support system, if you feel isolated, if you feel like you don’t have other people around you who understand what it is that you’re dealing with, or even if you do, what you want to connect with more people, I definitely suggest that you come join my free private Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca’s Song. Come join us. You know, there are a lot of people in there who are having discussions every single day. And also, if you need access to therapy and you don’t have it, I have a sponsor, which is BetterHelp, and you can access that through betterhelp.com/rebeccazung. It is a sponsor for me, which means that we receive commissions on it. It doesn’t cost you any extra. It’s access to help and support that you can trust.
The next one is the passive-aggressive comment. I think passive aggressiveness is like one of the worst ones. It’s such… So cowardly, you know. You see this lot of times from covert narcissists. Covert narcissists are just like the worst ones in some ways to me. They’re very indirect, sarcastic comments, you know. It’s a way to express hostility without appearing overly aggressive. So, they kind of provoke you and revel in power in a way. It’s like a little jab, manipulate you covertly. It’s sort of like, “Oh, it must be nice to have all this time in the world to waste. I wish I had time to just work on things all day. Do whatever you like.” You know, “I’ll just clean up after you.” It’s so very, very passive-aggressive. They’re not honest about the fact that they don’t really like you or they don’t support you. So, that’s number five.
Number six is the attention-seeking comment. They’re trying to get attention from you or from others, and so they feel like they want to be the source of attention, and they will do anything they can to get back into that spot. Like, “Oh, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Oh, it’s always about me. Oh, I’m feeling so down today.” They post it on Facebook, and “I’ve been sick for so long. I can’t believe everybody is talking about me still.” They act like they don’t want everybody to be talking about them, but obviously, they’re posting it all over social media, and so obviously, they do want people to be talking about them. Like, they’re trying to get the attention of people on this sort of thing. All right, so that’s number six.
And then number seven is the victim card comment, especially covert narcissists. They love to play that victim card because they want people to support them, and they love to use this tactic to avoid accountability and gain further control over others. “Nobody really cares about me. Oh, everybody’s here to get me. I just always get the short end of the stick. Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll just sit over here. I don’t mind being alone.” Or, “The world is conspiring against me.” That’s number seven.
Lastly, is the entitlement comment. All narcissists feel like they are entitled, so they believe that they deserve special attention, special treatment, and special privileges. They express it in their comments. They feel entitled, and they should have unwavering admiration, unwavering support from everyone around them. “Why am I not getting the special treatment? Why aren’t my kids paying for my flight? They should be paying for my flight to come for the holidays. Why should I have to pay for myself? I deserve the best of everything. I’m exceptional. I’m unique.” Basically, “I deserve the best. People should pander to me.” Kind of an attitude. That’s the entitlement comment.
Those are the eight comments that reveal a narcissist’s dishonesty. I would love to know which ones you guys have heard the most. Let me know in the comments. Recognizing these patterns of narcissistic dishonesty can be challenging, but it empowers us to protect our emotional well-being and set healthy boundaries. If you found this article helpful or insightful, don’t forget to subscribe for more articles to come and make sure that you share it with friends or family or other people who are dealing with narcissists or toxic personalities that you think find this helpful. Remember, we need to support each other. We’re on a mission here to help each other with this situation.
We are on this path of growth, self-discovery, of empowerment, of inspiration, and living our best lives. So remember, you’re strong, you’re resilient. We want you to have genuine connections. We want you to have wisdom. We want you to be able to navigate those narcissistic interactions with wisdom, with compassion, and supporting each other with the knowledge, the resources, and everything you need to get through your negotiations with grace, with ease, so that you can have that freedom, that authentic life that you deserve to have.
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