Alright, so let’s talk about ways to defeat that narcissist or the signs that you have defeated that narcissist. Actually, like, okay, you’re negotiating with them and you’re trying to figure out how it’s going. Are you close? Have you defeated them? Do you think that you’re kind of on the way to defeating them? Because sometimes it may be hard to tell. They don’t want you to know, obviously. I mean, they want it to look like they’re winning at all costs and at all times, and they’re never going to let on.
Even if they’re losing badly and things aren’t going their way, and you’re showing them evidence that things aren’t going their way, they’re still going to say, ‘‘I’m winning, I’m winning. It’s going my way, totally is.’’ I mean, because that’s how they’ve gotten along in life all along. You can show them, ‘‘Hey, look, these text messages show that you’ve been cheating’’ and ‘‘Nope, that’s not what that says’’. That’s how they get along.
I mean, I was actually just talking to one of my private clients recently, and she was telling me that she really appreciated one of my recent videos, which was ‘‘4 signs that the narcissist is losing control’’, which you can check out yourself if you’d like. She said she loved that video because she was like, a lot of times, she was saying ‘‘I’m afraid, I don’t want them to lose control. I’m afraid of doing things that are going to make them lose control. I don’t want that to happen.’’ But actually, she could see that that meant that she was starting to get there, that she was starting to make headway, that she was starting to cover ground, that she was getting closer to her goal, where she wanted to be.
So that it was actually okay in this case. She was dealing with a husband, but sometimes you’re dealing with a business partner. I’ve actually dealt with quite a few situations where people are dealing with maybe a family member in a probate situation, something like that. But it’s okay, if they’re actually starting to lose control because that means that they are showing signs of being defeated as well. So you don’t necessarily need to fear that. Also remember that they have conditioned you, they have conditioned you to believe that they are winners, that you don’t know what you’re doing, that you don’t know how to think, that they do, that they’re smarter, that you can’t trust your odds, that you can only trust what they think. They’ve really conditioned you to believe that.
A lot of times, your thoughts, things that you think are actually your thoughts, are actually thoughts they have conditioned you to believe. So, six signs that you’re starting to defeat that narcissist. What happens is, they start going back to that well of things that worked for them in the past. They don’t have a whole lot of tricks in their arsenal, they have their things that worked for them, so they go back to whatever worked for them in the past.
I mean, they have these patterns; they have these playbooks that worked and that’s why it’s kind of interesting. I mean, when you start to study what they’re like, they’re pretty predictable in the sense that you can tell how they’re going to behave, even though it’s pretty awful, but you can pretty much tell how they’re going to behave. So, they’ll start off kind of small and then they’ll kind of work up to the things that, when it’s really bad defeat.
So, the love-bombing might start being the first kind of sign. Then, the next thing is, okay, that didn’t work, so let me go to the next thing and that’s when they start to get a bit more desperate. You might start to see some crazy texts at this point. You might start to see some little undertones of not-so-nice texts or maybe even some threatening sort of language in the communications you’re receiving, so it’s starting to ramp up just slightly, you’re starting to feel that heat rise because they’re starting to feel like it’s coming.
Alright, so that’s number two. This is where you start to see like, where they kind of start to get a little bit desperate, where they start to get a little bit crazy and so sometimes you’ll start to see them just say weird things, like, okay, where did that come from? They get a little bit outlandish sometimes and so that’s how it kind of starts, they kind of get a little bit crazier, crazier, crazier and until they’re just full crazy and into collapse and by the way, the miniseries with Hugh Grant ‘‘The Undoing’’ is a great example of that whole thing and I actually did a whole video on that if you want to check it out, really great example of that whole thing.
So, those first three are all about them. It’s all about the narcissists themselves. So, those are all signs that you’ve defeated the narcissist. That’s about the narcissists themselves. The last three, I want to kind of focus on signs you’ve defeated the narcissists. I want to focus on you. Signs that you’ve defeated the narcissists but focusing on you, because that’s really when you know that you’ve defeated the narcissist because you feel it on this side of the fence.
Alright, so number four is, It’s like they say things that normally in the past would have gotten you all upset. It’s like, Superman with the bullets that just pop off your chest or Wonder Woman, they just went right off your wrist and you’re like, did somebody say something? I thought I heard something, but nothing. I got nothing. It didn’t even faze me at all. Like when you’re not emotionally triggered by that at all, you know you’ve actually defeated the narcissist.
Okay, that’s number four. What do I mean by that? That means that you’ve ethically manipulated the manipulator. They think they’ve gotten away with something. You’ve let them believe that they won, that they got something out of you and you actually manipulated them into taking exactly what you wanted them to take. So, you do your best Meryl Streep or Al Pacino or whatever it is, and you go, ‘‘Oh my God, I can’t believe it, this is all terrible’’, whatever, and because you took your ego out of it, because you know what? They have to feel like they won, and that’s how it goes.
It’s okay, it’s fine. That’s going to be how it is. You have to let them think it’s their idea or whatever it is, so that’s number five.
Lastly, this is the best one really. Not only is there no emotion, you have no fear in interacting with them. You receive e-mails from them, you see them, you talk to them, you have no fear. I get so many emails from people who have done my programs, who watch my videos, all the things that I’ve told you guys to do and then you tell me that that’s the miracle; that you’ve gotten the outcomes you wanted, all those things, but the miracle is, that the fear has disappeared.
Because that’s your goal, defeating that narcissist. Where do you start? You start by getting my free ‘‘Crush my negotiation’’ prep worksheet at winmynegotiation.com. You can join me in my free private Facebook group ‘‘Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung’’. Make sure you also come to the launch party; get going with reading this new book because everything is in there as well. Register here: slaythebullylaunch.com
I hope this helps! Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to adjust. Stay strong, stay informed, always believe in yourself, and make sure your light is shining strong. Remember that today’s a great day to start negotiating your best life. For more ways to shift the power dynamic against the narcissist in your life check out my free masterclass right here http://icanslay.com
