Beating a Narcissist in Custody Court

Physical custody is the type of custody you generally think of. It concerns your kids’ living arrangements and the parents’ visitation rights. Most divorced couples receive a 50/50 physical custody deal. Some arrangements grant a higher proportion to one parent than the other, and some only allow short, supervised visits.

Legal custody concerns the right to make decisions for your children. These choices can include education-meaning you choose where they go to school, whether or not they’ll be homeschooled, or certain special education programs they can enter. Other choices may include religion and healthcare.

Like physical custody, legal custody is often awarded in a 50/50 deal so that each parent receives some rights to make decisions. For example, one parent may choose which religion to raise their children in, while the other may choose which pediatrician to take them to and whether or not they’ll be vaccinated.

One of the first things you should know about narcissists is that they have a constant need to fill their supply and make themselves feel superior to others. Because they see you as Public Enemy Number One, you’re their main target.

Their coal-level supply, as Rebecca Zung has coined it, is their communications with you. They’ll belittle and berate you in all your co-parenting communications with them. To begin, you need to take away their coal-level supply.

In this divorce parenting course, Rebecca Zung teaches that before you or your spouse move out of the house, you should implement a precise parenting plan. It should outline how you’re exchanging children as well as the exact days, times, and locations. You should also choose a communication app to eliminate any possibility of further narcissist abuse in your co-parenting communications.

You need to specify each of these in advance. A narcissist will take advantage of you wherever they can. If there’s any gray area, that’s where they’ll strike first.

For example, let’s say you’ve arranged to exchange the kids every Monday at 7 a.m. If you leave out the location, your spouse may insist that you drive to their house every time for pick-up and drop-off. Or if you want to do it in a public area but haven’t specified that, they’ll insist that it’s unnecessary and time-consuming-then belittle you when they see you for the private child exchange.

To protect your mental health and your children from witnessing a narcissist’s attacks, specify every detail of your parenting plan before you separate and begin legal proceedings.

Now that you’ve removed the narcissist’s coal-level supply, it’s time to work on their diamond-level supply: their reputation.

Narcissists value their reputation above everything else. They’ll lash out when they feel their reputation being threatened. One of the keys to learning how to beat a narcissist in family court is to discover how to use their reputation as leverage against them and avoid the fit of rage.

To do this, you’ll need to document everything you can. Save, screenshot, and print your emails and texts. If your state follows one-party consent laws, record your in-person interactions. SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court will show you every piece of evidence you’ll need to build your case, such as late child support payments or proof of negligence to your children.

Your goal in documenting is to show the judge proof of your spouse’s inability to act in the children’s best interests. Simply telling the judge your spouse is a narcissist isn’t enough—they need to see concrete evidence.

All this evidence will give the judge a picture of your soon-to-be-ex’s personality and reputation. Remember, a narcissist’s reputation is their diamond-level supply, and they’ll do anything to keep it looking squeaky clean. Leveraging proof of their mediocre reputation will hit them where it hurts and convince them to back down.

You’ll use this leverage in the last step of this process. As you collect evidence, remember: do not tell or even hint to your spouse (or anyone who associates with them) what you have planned. The minute you let something slip to them, you’ll lose it as leverage. They’ll start a counterattack before you know it. Keep it a secret from as many people as possible.

Gathering evidence to use as leverage forms the base of your argument against your spouse. Along with collecting evidence, you’ll also need to have many other pieces of information ready for your mediation. In SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court, Rebecca Zung explains everything you’ll need and how to get it so you can build a rock-solid case against your soon-to-be-ex.

However, it’s not enough to prepare your case against a narcissistic spouse. You also need to fortify your own defense. The last thing you want is to be caught off your guard and unable to answer questions from your spouse’s side in the middle of a negotiation. Remember, narcissists are devious-they’ll use any weak spot in your argument to strike a blow.

In Rebecca Zung’s SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court course, you’ll get potential questions to expect from the other side and help in formulating solid and competent answers. That way, you can go into mediation fully prepared for any difficult questions you may get.

Now, it’s time to enter your negotiations. This can happen inside or outside the courtroom; the judge will approve the final custody plan.

It’s natural to feel anxious during negotiations, but remember that your extensive preparations and research on narcissism through SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court have given you the tools to win. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you-remain confident, and avoid all eye contact with your spouse to keep calm and avoid any withering gazes.

Then, you’ll present your list of desires for physical and legal custody. They should be divided into two groups: top priorities and lower priorities. You want to present your top priorities as being not very important to you, while your lesser priorities should look to the narcissist like your must-haves.

Then, you’ll break out your leverage. The very last thing a narcissist wants is to have their diamond-level supply destroyed in front of a judge. To keep their reputation as intact as possible, they’ll be much more willing to concede to your requests-but they also want to make you suffer. By making your lower priorities seem vital to you, you can concede on those points and let the narcissist think they’ve won.

In SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court, Rebecca Zung explains all the finer points of how to present your case and use your leverage against the narcissist. She demonstrates how to beat a narcissist in custody court using proven techniques that will help you get the most from your leverage.