Divorce Negotiation Strategy
Why Is Divorcing a Narcissist So Difficult?
If you’re divorcing, you likely want the proceedings to be done with as quickly as possible. Undoubtedly, there are things you want from the settlement, but you may be willing to compromise on some things in order to bring the divorce to a close and move forward.
This view is not shared by narcissists. They want to win, but it’s less about getting what they want and more about ensuring you don’t get what you want. They may care more about taking things away from you than they care about their own gain.
This is because narcissists have no sense of intrinsic self-worth. They’re on a never-ending search to find value in themselves, and they get it by feeding their narcissism. One source of their narcissistic supply comes from manipulating and demeaning others—and in the middle of a divorce, you’re the main target.
No matter how much you might want an amicable divorce, that’s the last thing a narcissist is willing to give you. They’re going to put all their energy into making you look bad and drag out the proceedings long enough to bleed you dry emotionally, mentally, and financially.
Breaking Free From Divorce is an invaluable resource for anyone learning how to negotiate with a narcissist in divorce. Among many other resources, the course includes a game-changing divorce negotiation cheat sheet so you can learn how to beat the narcissist and get what you want from negotiations.
Is It Possible to Convince a Narcissist to Back Down?
As tough-even impossible-as it is to negotiate with a narcissist, there is one surefire way to get them to back down: leverage.
Creating leverage is an amazingly effective divorce negotiation strategy, especially when you’re dealing with a narcissist. The narcissist values their reputation above everything else. The way they look to the outside world is their diamond-level source of narcissistic supply.
When you threaten to expose them for who they really are, that supply source is suddenly under attack. They’ll do anything to keep their reputation intact, including leaving your reputation alone.
Creating leverage involves gathering all the evidence you can on the narcissist in every category, from finances to their treatment of you and your children. In this course, Rebecca Zung shares every piece of evidence you need, how to collect it, and when to use it for maximum leverage to get what you want out of your negotiations.
Whether or not you want to resolve your divorce disputes as amicably as possible, your narcissistic spouse does not. By creating leverage, you’ll be able to solve things as peacefully and quickly as possible.
What Should I Avoid Doing During My Divorce Proceedings?
Many people assume that their lawyer will tell them everything they should and should not do during their divorce. While this is true to an extent, your lawyer can’t anticipate every possible circumstance you may find yourself in. Here are a few things that will hurt your case. The Breaking Free From Divorce masterclasses can provide even more guidance, making sure that you don’t do things that will jeopardize your divorce settlement.
Giving Your Leverage Away Too Early
If you’ve been the victim of a narcissist’s relentless attacks, you know better than most how the frustration and anger can sometimes be too much to handle. It can feel next to impossible to simply turn the other cheek. You may find yourself wanting to stick it to the narcissist by using your leverage before it will have maximum impact. However, giving away your leverage at the wrong time can be disastrous.
The leverage you have against your spouse can be anything that has the potential to damage their reputation or diamond-level supply. This could include showing how they missed numerous missed child-support payments or disobeyed court orders.
However, exposing the narcissist too early is one of the worst moves you can make. Not only do you lose your leverage, but you’ve given away your trump card and allowed the narcissist to launch a counterattack against you.
No matter how tempted you are, don’t fall prey to the impulse to give away your leverage. Only share it at the final formal negotiation. Keeping your leverage a secret and knowing when to use it is rule number one in learning how to deal with a narcissist wife or husband during a divorce. This Breaking Free from Divorce course will teach you all about creating leverage and using it to your advantage.
Not Knowing the Finances
You probably already know that getting a divorce will involve a division of assets and some form of spousal or child support. But did you know that you need to have dozens of specific documents at the ready?
When you’re divorcing a narcissist, they’ll use their signature move of making things difficult for you by leaving out certain things-a missing month or two in a year’s worth of bank statements, a “forgotten” deed, or an obviously miscalculated analysis of their business’s worth.
You’ll often need to hire a forensic accountant to find every missing piece of financial information and get a complete picture of the financial situation between you and your spouse. Forensic accountants are costly, but Breaking Free From Divorce can save you thousands by showing you which documents you need and how to find them.
Getting Too Emotional
In every divorce scenario-not just the ones involving narcissists-there’s bound to be a high level of conflict. It will be an emotionally volatile situation, but you can’t let emotions rule your logic. Making rash decisions based on emotion can cost you in several ways during your divorce.
Breaking Free From Divorce will help you maintain a clear head during every stage of your divorce so you can make rational choices and not let your emotions (or your narcissistic spouse) get the best of you.
The training you’ll receive in handling conflict like a pro may even lead you to take Rebecca Zung’s high conflict divorce coach certification program. Many people who master high conflict negotiation strategies in their own divorce find fulfillment in teaching others to do the same. This certification program equips you to help others stuck in high conflict situations-whether it be in a marriage, business partnership, or other situation.
Other Mistakes
Navigating a divorce can be incredibly tricky. There are potential pitfalls at every turn. When you take the Breaking Free From Divorce program, you’ll learn about mistakes you could make during your divorce proceedings and how to avoid them. This will help ensure that you get what you want from your negotiations.
How Can I Use This Course to Help Me Work with My Lawyer?
Going up against a narcissist means you’re in for the fight of your life. To ensure success in your negotiations, you need a guide to walk you through the divorce process. This way, you can use your experiences and your lawyer’s proficiency to beat a narcissist in court.
Choosing an Attorney
Before you start building your case, you’ll need to find an attorney who has experience with narcissism and high conflict divorces and knows the best divorce negotiation strategies for your situation. In the Breaking Free From Divorce program, Rebecca Zung shares questions to ask lawyers so you can find the best match to represent your case.
Not finding an attorney with extensive knowledge of narcissism can cost you dearly. High conflict divorces cost tens of thousands of dollars in fees from attorneys, forensic accountants, psychologists, and legal proceedings. In their quest to bleed you dry, narcissists will drag out the process for as long as they can. Without an expert attorney, you’ll pay the price-both financially and emotionally.
Building a Strategy
While a good lawyer is a priceless asset in navigating your divorce, they can’t do everything for you. They haven’t seen firsthand the specific examples of narcissistic abuse you’ve suffered. Because they don’t know every detail of everything your spouse has done to you, they need your help.
To create your divorce negotation strategy with your attorney, you’ll need to gather enough evidence to build a strong case. They can apply the law to your circumstances, but they can’t find the leverage you need-that’s up to you.
Pieces of leverage include anything that can be used as hard evidence against your spouse. Bank statements, emails, texts, and witness statements are just a few of the things you’ll need to gather for your negotiations. In the Breaking Free From Divorce course, Rebecca Zung shows you every piece of evidence you’ll need and how to organize it all. Her expertise allows you to equip your lawyer with everything they need to win your case.
Navigating the Legal System
Mediations, litigations, court dates-it’s easy to feel consumed by all the legal jargon in a divorce. And as friendly and empathetic as your lawyer may be, navigating the legal side of a divorce can be daunting.
In this course, Rebecca Zung explains everything you need to know about the legal system. She walks you through the process, describes important procedures, and helps you know what to tell your attorney.
Attorneys can be incredibly expensive, charging several hundred dollars per hour. Their paralegals are busy and can’t always help you navigate a divorce when you have questions. Breaking Free From Your Divorce offers you a personal guide through the process so you can always feel confident and prepared.
How Can I Make Time for a Class During the Divorce Process?
The conflict alone that comes with divorce can make you feel like you’re at your breaking point. Add in the time spent on finding a lawyer, developing a negotiation plan, and dealing with your narcissistic spouse, it may seem like there are no minutes left in the day for anything else.
However, the truth is that the Breaking Free From Divorce course can actually save you a massive amount of time and money. This course walks you step by step through the entire divorce process so you’re not left to cobble together a DIY divorce plan.
Because Rebecca Zung shows you everything from finding a lawyer and gathering evidence to keeping your emotions in check during spousal communications and finding hidden financial assets, you’ll avoid spending hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars trying to do everything yourself. It’s like a how-to guide for divorce.
Breaking Free From Divorce also dramatically shortens the divorce process, helping you avoid burnout and exhaustion. Too many people get sick of fighting a narcissistic spouse at every turn. They end up giving in and letting the narcissist win.
This course empowers you to conduct yourself with confidence and clarity throughout your divorce. Instead of succumbing to more narcissistic abuse, you’ll have all the tools to stand up and fight for yourself and the things you deserve.