How can you turn your disadvantage into advantage in divorce?
Today’s topic is how can you turn your disadvantage into advantage?
So right now, I am reading a book that Malcolm Gladwell published a few years ago now, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants. In this book, the author explores several real world examples of people who took what seemed to the rest of the world as being dealt a bad hand, but who then used that bad hand and turned it into the best hand one could ever hope to get. He posits the idea that without dyslexia, we wouldn’t have seen one of the greatest trial lawyers or one of the greatest Hollywood producers; and that David wouldn’t have been able to slay Goliath.
In the case of David and Goliath, and I will try to paraphrase Gladwell’s eloquent retelling of the story without bastardizing it too badly, Goliath, a large man clad in heavy armor, and who potentially had a condition which caused him to be slow and be afflicted with double vision, was slayed by David. David, a slight man, had no armor, and by virtue of size alone, it would appear he was quite the underdog. But David had trained as a skilled slinger and was thus able to sling a rock at Goliath, hitting him square in the middle of his forehead, grounding the giant man before he probably even knew what hit him.
As an attorney, I am privy to a lot of people’s self-talk during one of the worst times in their lives. The medical terminology for “self-talk” is “the idiot that lives in your head and won’t shut up.” Self-talk in divorce often sounds like this:
“He is getting away with everything.”
“She ruined my life.”
“This settlement is so unfair because he/she is getting way more than he/she deserves.”
What I want you to see is that that type of self-defeating thinking - those thoughts – are your orders that you are placing to the universe. Do you want more of that to show up in your life? Then keep thinking that way.
Want to start seeing changes? Do you want to feel in control of your divorce? Want a fair settlement? Want to be set free from this emotional and financial prison? Then keep listening.
Try taking whatever you are perceiving to be your disadvantage and use it to your advantage!
You want out of your marriage but your spouse doesn’t? Use that to your advantage. Use that as an opportunity to say “let’s communicate productively. If you want an ongoing relationship, then that’s great place to start.”
If you have severe health issues, and want alimony, use your health issues to show the court why you need the support.
If you are looking like the person who doesn’t have a “big gun” attorney, convince the judge to root for the “underdog.”
There is always a way to take what you’ve got and turn it around. Now is your time to make that happen.
Remember the wise words of Wayne Dyer “When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things change.”
One of the other ways you can take control of your divorce is through my private virtual divorce masterclasses! The Core 4 Series and the Core 4+ Kids series. Skip the hassle. Save the fees. You can check them out by visiting my website at https://www.breakingfreefromdivorce.com.
Thanks for joining me today. I give tips, tricks and divorce secrets every day. If you enjoyed this, please head on over to my youtube channel and hit subscribe. Also please check out the book.com for my free divorce book!
I will see you tomorrow for Thursday Divorce Thoughts.
Until then, remember you’re just one step away from your new life. Together, we’ve got this.
Divorce help; divorce advice; divorce tips; divorce secrets