Today’s topic is one that most people end up grappling with not just in divorce – but in life in general– how to stay motivated even if you don’t feel like it!

When I was a young associate,  the other associate attorney and I used to have a phrase we’d use to communicate to each other on those “off” kinds of days….one of us would go into the other’s office and plop down, then shake our head, and say “motivational issues.”

Yep.  We’ve all been there.

So what causes motivational issues?

Fear – yes that can be a biggie

Lack of passion for what you’re doing – mmhmmm.

Paralysis – can’t move forward because you don’t know how, or don’t want to make the wrong move.

Tiredness – and I don’t even say exhaustion (meaning I don’t mean lack of sleep)– what I mean here is that you’re just tired of the world in general.  Tired of mean people.  Tired of people who don’t appreciate you.  Tired of trying and not seeing the results you want.  Tired of others seeming to have more than you.  Or what you should have.  Or what they don’t deserve.  Or. Or. Or……  you get the idea.

Apathy – just getting to the point like nothing you do matters and so therefore, you just no longer care.

Could also just be good old fashioned boredom.

Remember the line in the cult classic movie “Office Space” where the main character says “It’s not that I’m lazy….it’s just that I don’t care.”

The truth is that it could be a combination of all of the above.  And the real truth is that we’ve all been there.  We’ve all felt all of the above and have had our own share of “motivational issues”.

So in the face of all of that, what can we do?   One thing I think we can also agreed upon here is that having a serious case of antimotivationitis ( a real medical affliction that I just made up) is not an empowered state.  It is not a state that allows for creativity, passion, excitement, joy and love to be rushing into our world.   It is actually quite the paradox really.   Because in order to have all of those things, you have to feel them first, and in order to feel them, you have to be motivated, and in order to have all of those things….well you can picture the cycle.

Here’s what to do if you are in that funk:

  1. Start picturing what it is that motivates you – what are you passionate about?  Write it down.  Start researching it.  Starting talking about it with everyone you know.   Put yourself in a place where that is occupying more of your thoughts than anything else.
  2. Surround yourself with people who are also super passionate about what you are doing.   Are you surrounding yourself with people who are fanning your flames?  Or dousing your fire?  You decide.    Entire cultures have been built on evil eyes and keeping people who are jealous of you out of your space.  Heed the warnings.  You don’t need them.
  3. Find something to replace your low energy thoughts – some sort of mantra.  “I’m so excited about the amazing life I am creating for myself and those around me.”  Or whatever works for you.

So the next time you are thinking- Monday  – yuck – ugh. You will be thinking yes “Monslay! I am alive, determined and ready to slay the world.  Let’s do this!”

One of the other ways you can take control of your life and your divorce is through my Delete Alt Control Divorce Masterclasses!  The Core 4 Series and the Core 4+ Kids series. Skip the hassle. Save the fees. You can check them out by visiting my website at  

Thanks for joining me today.  I give tips, tricks and divorce secrets every day.   If you enjoyed this, please head on over to my youtube channel and hit subscribe.    Also please check out for ways to be supported in your divorce.

Until then, remember you’re just one step away from your new life.   Together, we’ve got this.

Divorce help; divorce advice; divorce tips; divorce secrets


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