Getting divorced is traumatic. Period. And getting divorced when you have kids at home is heartbreaking.

There are few things that you can do to be sure it goes a little bit more smoothly though.

  1. Before separating, make sure to create a parenting plan.  Even if you consider it a temporary parenting plan. Address the day to day schedule.  Specify times and places for pick up and drop off, as well as who is doing the driving.
  2. Do not, under any circumstances, discuss details of the divorce with the kids. Just assure them that they are still loved, that the reasons for the divorce had nothing to do with them, and that they will still have both parents in their lives no matter what.  Similarly, don’t disparage your soon-to-be-ex to the children.  Remember that they are still half that other person – so by disparaging your spouse, you are actually disparaging them too. if you are angry or have negative feelings toward your ex, get support elsewhere.
  3. Figure out a way to communicate with your ex about the kids in a way that will be productive. If that means using a third party monitored service like Our Family Wizard, then that may be best.

I give lots more information in my private virtual divorce masterclasses!  The Core 4 + Kids series. Skip the hassle.  Save the fees.   You can check them out by visiting my website at I am also giving away my bestselling divorce book, Breaking Free:  A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide to Achieving Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Freedom, right now. Just cover a small shipping and handling fee and relief and solutions will be delivered right to your mailbox.

Thanks for joining me today.  I give tips, tricks and divorce secrets every day. If you enjoyed this, please head on over to my youtube channel and hit subscribe.  Also please check out for ways to be supported in your divorce.

I will see you tomorrow for Family Law Secrets Friday – where I will discuss How to Deal With Your Abusive Spouse.

Until then, remember you’re just one step away from your new life. Together, we’ve got this.

More From Rebecca's Blog
How to Divorce with Kids

Do This Instead of Calling Out Narcissists

When you're thinking about telling the narcissist that they're a narcissist, please don't do it. Do this instead. I have dealt with narcissists in my life, and a couple of them are very close to me. I know narcissists firsthand. Unfortunately, I've learned the hard...

read more
How to Divorce with Kids

How do you uncover a covert narcissist?

Coworkers and friends with narcissistic personalities are not always easy to identify as such. Their behavior or opinions may seem a little off, but everyone has their quirks. How can you tell if they truly are a narcissist? Find out below what traits our readers...

read more
How to Divorce with Kids

Working with a Narcissist? 13 Common Mistakes to Avoid

Mistake 1 - Call a narcissist a narcissist to their face Calling a narcissist a narcissist, no matter how true it may be, won’t help. Additionally, naming someone a narcissist is unprofessional unless you are a mental health practitioner who has been licensed and who...

read more
How to Divorce with Kids

How to Avoid Hiring a Narcissist

How can you avoid hiring a narcissist if narcissists out-perform non-narcissists at job interviews? According to several studies published in business and psychology journals, narcissists receive more favorable hiring ratings from job interviewers than individuals who...

read more