The divorce paradox is a very difficult phenomenon. It is tough.

If you’re getting divorced, you’re probably afraid.  You may be paralyzed by fear: fear of the unknown, of being alone, of losing friends; fear of being unable to afford the divorce, of living alone…of losing your place in the world.

And right in the middle of that trauma, you must be as clear-headed as you has ever been in your life.

That is the divorce paradox: Under intense stress, you have to make decisions about the future of the people and things that mean the most to you – your children, your family, your home, your business, your money.  Your life as you know it.

So, how does someone in that situation get to the other side? How does you fly through the storm to a new life that is stable, and whole, full of self-respect, health, balance, and love?

In other words, what do you need in order to make sense out of all the turbulence ~ how does you decide about lawyers, so you minimize the fees for the expertise you need, not a fortune for what you don’t need; how do you split your assets fairly; what paperwork do you need to gather; how to figure out whether one needs spousal support; how do you look at your lifestyle and budget; how do you create a winning parenting plan; what’s a forensic accountant or a forensic parenting evaluator? And do you need them?  How do you figure out mediation; when, and when not, to meet with your spouse?   How do you divide the indivisible asset?  What counts as income?  What kinds of things should be included in a marital settlement agreement?   Then what do you need to do once your divorce is over?

For nearly two decades as a divorce lawyer, I saw smart, capable, successful, loving, passionate people try their best to fight their way through the storm. But what they were missing was a map.

That’s how my passion was born. To get through the storm, a person needs a map. You need a guide to all of the issues and roadblocks and decisions you will encounter.

So I took everything I’ve learned about divorce…and I drew the map.

It’s an online map. It provides virtual training and support for people who are contemplating or experiencing divorce so that they can take control of their divorce, minimize professional fees and reset their lives.

The training comes in video modules that you watch at your own pace (in a created membership area – nothing to download to your own computer), when the timing is right for you. The modules walk you through the key steps that will orient you, educate you, and put you in control of the life you want. Not the life somebody else wants for you: the life you want, the life you deserve, the life you will have.

So if you’re ready to check it all out, head to – and remember, right now I am offering my bestselling divorce book for free – which you can find at that website as well.   Just cover a small shipping fee and relief will be on its way to your mailbox.

That’s it for today – Wednesday’s Divorce Wisdom – come on back tomorrow for Thursday Divorce Thoughts, where I will talk about what to do if you and your ex can’t communicate about the kids.

Until then remember, you are not alone in this process… together, we’ve got this.

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