Have you ever walked away from an argument with a narcissist thinking, “Ugh, I wish I had said this”?
I’ve been there — frozen in shock, wondering how someone could twist my words so completely. Narcissists are masters of manipulation, gaslighting, and blame-shifting. But here’s the truth: you don’t need to yell to win. You just need leverage — and the right words.
In this article, I’ll give you five calm, clean, word-for-word comebacks that stop manipulation in its tracks. Whether it’s in court, at work, or at home, these are the exact phrases that help you slay without losing your cool.
💡 First, Remember: Calm = Control
Before we dive in, here’s the golden rule: how you say something matters just as much as what you say.
I use what I call the CALM Method:
- C – Concise
- A – Airtight
- L – Low Emotion
- M – Measured
When you speak calmly, you control the frame — and the frame controls the outcome.
🛡️ Comeback #1: “That’s your opinion.”
This one is pure gold. It’s non-defensive, non-arguable, and immediately shuts down their attempt to debate your reality. Narcissists want you to react, to defend yourself, to spiral. Instead, you calmly say:
“That’s your opinion.”
Use a neutral face, relaxed tone, and even breathing. No sarcasm, no raised eyebrows.
✅ Variations:
- “Noted.”
- “I understand that’s your view.”
- “Your opinion is clear.”
Example:
- “You’re a horrible parent.” → “That’s your opinion.”
- “Everyone thinks you’re crazy.” → “That’s your opinion.”
When you refuse to debate, you keep your power — and their chaos bounces off your calm.
🧭 Comeback #2: “I see it differently.”
This phrase plants your flag in reality — your reality. You’re not arguing; you’re asserting.
“I see it differently.”
✅ Why it works: It establishes autonomy. You have a right to your perception, and you don’t need their validation.
Examples:
- “That never happened.” → “I see it differently.”
- “You dropped the ball.” → “I see it differently.”
If they push back, repeat it once and disengage.
“We’ll have to agree to disagree.”
You’re no longer reacting — you’re leading.
🔁 Comeback #3: “We can agree to disagree.”
This closes the loop on endless circular arguments — the kind that make you feel like you’re living in Groundhog Day.
“We can agree to disagree.”
✅ Why it works: It’s firm, polite, and signals that the discussion is over. You’re stepping out of the chaos and setting a boundary without aggression.
Take a slow exhale before saying it. Shoulders relaxed. Turn slightly away if needed. That body language says, “I’m done.”
🚪 Comeback #4: “I won’t continue this conversation if you…”
This one is your conditional boundary.
“I won’t continue this conversation if you continue to raise your voice.”
✅ Why it works: It sets a clear condition and consequence — respect or no access. You’re not punishing them; you’re protecting your peace.
Examples:
- “I won’t continue if you keep interrupting me.”
- “If this continues, I’ll end the call.”
If they test your boundary (and they will), follow through calmly. Boundaries mean nothing without action.
🤫 Comeback #5: Strategic Silence
Sometimes, the most powerful response is no response.
When a narcissist sends baiting texts, late-night rants, or smear messages — you starve their supply by going silent.
✅ How to apply it:
- Ignore non-relevant messages.
- Forward threats or harassment to your attorney.
- For real issues, reply once and factually — “Received. I’ll respond by 2 PM tomorrow to the relevant points.”
Silence is not weakness. Silence is strategy.
💬 Let’s Lock These In
Say them out loud with me right now:
- “That’s your opinion.”
- “I see it differently.”
- “We can agree to disagree.”
- “I won’t continue this conversation if you…”
- [Silence.]
These five phrases are your verbal armor. They keep you calm, collected, and in control. You’re no longer reacting — you’re leading.
Because remember — you don’t win by arguing harder. You win by being smarter.
🧠 Want More Power Phrases?
Grab my free guide: Disarmthenarc.com — your ultimate scriptbook for staying calm, confident, and in control.
And if you want daily tools and community support, join my free private Facebook group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissistnegotiators.
You are not powerless. You are strategic, calm, and taking your life back — on purpose.
✨ Chaos is their weapon — but clarity is yours.
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—
Rebecca Zung, Esq.
The Leverage Lawyer™ | High Conflict Negotiation Expert | Author of “SLAY the Bully”